slower, slower
by Becks Rylynn
Summary: AU: Dean Winchester should know by now that the past has a nasty habit of biting back. During his last year, one of his best kept secrets comes unraveled at the seams when that aforementioned pesky past comes back to bite him in the ass. Happy Halloween!
1. Golden slumbers kiss your eyes

_AN: So, this is my annual Halloween story. I know it's a little early to be starting posting considering it's only September 19th, but this is probably the longest Halloween story I've ever written (eleven chapters in total) and I wanted to get a jump on things so that maybe - just maybe - this year I'll actually be finished my Halloween story by Halloween. Also, I kind of wanted to get the first chapter up during what I am now calling Supernatural Week (season 7 kicks off on Friday; raise your hand if you're both excited and a little scared for Cas), so..._

_I hope you all enjoy the story!_

_First chapter title from the poem ''Cradle Song'' by Thomas Dekker._

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><p><strong>Title: <strong>_slower, slower  
><em>**Summary: **AU, Season Three: Dean Winchester should know by now that the past - his past especially - has a nasty habit of biting back. During his last year, one of his best kept secrets comes unraveled at the seams when that aforementioned pesky past comes back to bite him in the ass.  
><strong>Pairing(s): <strong>Well, I guess you could say that there are some Dean/Ruby undertones, but I'm trying to keep it pretty subtle. It's there if you look close enough, but pairings are not the main focus of this story. Also, there are some mentions of past Dean/OFC.  
><strong>Characters: <strong>Dean Winchester, Ruby, Sam, Joey Daniels (OMC), and at least two other major OCs.  
><strong>Genre: <strong>Family/Suspense (with a healthy side order of angst and hurt/comfort)  
><strong>Rating: <strong>T for language and themes.  
><strong>Timeline:<strong> Season three. To be more specific, it takes place in October of 2007.  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> I'd say blanket spoilers for the entire series, especially seasons three and four.  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>Heavy mentions of past minor character death, possibly some scenes of childbirth, torture, and minor gore. Language, kid!fic, this story definitely doesn't follow along with canon, and there is one majorly pissed off ghost in it. Oh, and there is some definite uncomfortable imagery in one of the later chapters, bodily fluid wise. I think that's it for warnings, but if you notice anything else that you think needs to be warned for, just let me know.  
><strong>Dedication: <strong>To all of my readers. Happy Halloween, everyone!  
><strong>Notes: <strong>Main title from the song_ Run _by Snow Patrol.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything.

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><p><strong>slower, slower<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

_''Golden slumbers kiss your eyes''_

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><p><em>''Whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one.''<br>_**- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe**

* * *

><p>Dean Winchester keeps a lot of secrets. It is something he is very, very good at. Dad knew some, Sam would <em>always<em> know more, but there are a handful of deep, dark secrets that he keeps completely to himself. It's not selfish, he tells himself. There are just some things that nobody needs to know. There are some things that are just _his._ There is a list of secrets that are his to keep, and one of those secrets has the power to change every little bit of the life he has built for himself.

Everyone has secrets. That's just life. If anyone ever tells you they have no secrets, they're fucking lying. _Everyone _has their secrets.

But no secrets stay buried forever. Secrets come out and you build others.

He should've known that.

.

Contrary to popular belief, the first girl he ever loved was not Cassie Robinson. The first girl he ever loved, the first girl he ever cried over, was Cheyenne Sommers. They were sixteen and it all happened in a small town in Louisiana. She was beautiful and smart and braver than he could ever pretend to be. She had an incredibly attractive Southern accent that he loved because it sounded, to him, a little bit like a lullaby. She always wore a gazillion bracelets on her wrists. One got lost in the seats of his car; he has never bothered to look for it because he likes that it's still there like a little piece of history. She had fiery red hair that fell in waves down her back, her eyes twinkled all the time, she smelled of peaches and cream, and she fit right beside him like so many other girls before her hadn't.

She taught him about the constellations, whispering stories about the stars in his ear late at night after she had snuck out of her house to come meet him. She was way too good for him. She was a preacher's daughter, for God's sake. She was the first girl who treated him like something other than the quintessential bad boy people thought he was. She was the first girl who made him wonder if, in another life, he could have been made for something more than what he was. She was the first girl who made him want to be _better._

That's something he knows he'll always remember about her.

Dad knew he had a fling with a girl named Cheyenne, Sam knows he was in love with her. Neither of them will ever know that he still has a habit of checking up on her every now and then. She's happy, living down in Dallas with her husband and her two little boys. She's a little older, her hair is a little darker, and her body has more womanly curves, but her eyes still twinkle like they used to and she is still as beautiful as ever.

.

Throughout his high school years, he was always the slacker kid who sat in the back of the classroom leaning back in his chair and checking out girls, carving his initials into desks just to prove he had been there once. In case people forgot. He was the boy the teachers hated, the one voted least likely to succeed. He was the human representation of failure. He didn't graduate, didn't go to college, didn't become someone rich and famous.

But he is not and was not an idiot.

He survived with Bs and Cs most of the time but when he tried, when he really tried, he sailed through exams and tests and got straight As, stumping the teachers in his wake. He had a teacher once, an eleventh grade math teacher who told him he had a bright future ahead of him, or at least he would if he applied himself. Mr. Allen, that was his name. He was the only teacher who ever believed in him. He could have had scholarships and college and a career. And you know what? When he was seventeen, he _wanted _that.

He wanted to go to school, he wanted out, he wanted to be normal just for a little while. Just long enough to get a taste of it. He didn't want it as much as Sammy wound up wanting it, but he wanted it all the same. He could've _graduated. _Could've walked off that stage with his diploma. Could've fucking graduated with _honors_ if he wanted to. The acceptance letters would've friggin' poured in.

He dropped out to take care of Sammy instead and settled for a GED and hustling pool.

He spent years trying to forget about everything he almost had for that minute and a half.

.

When he was eighteen, he had an affair with a teacher.

And no, that is not as _Dawson's Creek _as it sounds. He's not _Pacey._ Do not compare him to that guy.

He had a brief, sexual affair with his young and hot - albeit married - English teacher right before he dropped out. She could _do things_, man. She was kinky. She was _wild_. And she helped him forget, for awhile, about all of the things that hurt. So yeah, he fucked his teacher. Not one of the things he is incredibly proud of, but he did it. And he's going to keep that to himself, if you don't mind.

.

One day, when he was with Cassie, on a rainy day in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, he left the relative safety of Cassie's bedroom, where they had been holed up all weekend, and he went into town. The skies were gray, rain was coming down hard, thunder boomed in the distance. And he went ring shopping. It was a split second decision he made that morning after she had made him a big breakfast, dancing around the kitchen wearing only one of his shirts. It was a display of puzzing domestication that he had never been privy to before, and it startled him when he found he actually sort of liked it.

It took him a long while to get over that girl, but now...

...He thinks it's a real good thing he didn't wind up buying a ring that rainy day.

.

All throughout his life, he was adamant that all he would ever need was Dad and Sam. The things that mattered - the things he lived for - could be counted on one hand. Dad, Sam, his car, and that one tiny little (read: massive and life changing) secret he kept in his heart.

Yeah, well, that was a lie.

All throughout his life, while he vehemently denied needing anything else...

...He _needed _his mother.

He never, ever dared to tell Dad that.

.

He has a scar on his back. On his shoulder blade actually. It's a small mark on his left shoulder blade that hurt like hell when he first got it and it's barely noticeable these days but it's _there._ It's not from a ghost. Not from a werewolf or a demon. Not from some unholy monster that lurks in the shadows or the moonlight. It's not from a hunt. It's not something he got from being a big damn hero.

It's from Dad.

And no power on this earth will ever get him to reveal the full story surrounding that scar because as far as he's concerned, it never happened. It never happened and Sammy doesn't need to know.

.

And then...

...Well, then there's Piper.

She's the number one secret he keeps. She's the secret that changed his entire life. She just turned it right over and made him start a new upside down life. Actually, now that he thinks about it she's the secret that somehow fits in with all the other secrets.

Because he was heartbroken over having to leave Cheyenne, he lost himself in Beth Daniels, a gorgeous spitfire from Michigan. For a brief period of time, he let himself want college because he thought if he could make something of himself, it would make up for what he did to Beth and by association, Piper. He slept with Ms. James because he was fucked up, filled up to the brim with guilt and the unwavering feeling that he was the worst kind of worthless, deadbeat loser out there and if sex with his teacher made him feel good, even for a millisecond, then he was gonna do it. Piper even factored into buying a ring because a ring signified the kind of stability he wanted to be capable of giving her. And when he told Dad about Piper, about what he had done, Dad got angry and gave him that infamous scar on his shoulder blade.

Piper Daniels is a gorgeous, sunny twelve year old girl who lives in Michigan with her family and she is, by far, the biggest secret he has ever kept. Dad knew about her, but barely, Sam knows nothing (although sometimes he'll get this look on his face and Dean will just _feel_ that somehow, someway, Sam knows everything) and Dean knows every little piece.

He calls her once a week on Friday, he writes her every day, and he doesn't see her nearly as much as he'd like to. He does his best to visit her at least once a month, occasionally stealing away on her birthday or if it has something to do with her school. But it's not enough. It's not enough, it's never been enough, and he knows that. He knows what she deserves, he knows what she needs. It's just something he can't give her.

Piper is not at all what you'd expect.

That is putting it lightly.

She has green eyes, dark raven hair (although it's getting lighter as she gets older), pale, alabaster skin (she looks so much like her mother) and, like her parents she has a larger than life personality. Looks wise, she's probably a pretty perfect combination of both of her parents. Don't let that fool you. That is where the similarities between her and her dad end. Other than the green eyes and the occasional freckle, she is all her mother. The fact that she is so much like her mother? Not an extremely _good_ thing.

She listens to pop music (she idolizes Taylor Swift and wants to marry some dumbass named Jesse McCartney), she thinks his car is an old piece of junk, she's melodramatic to a fault (especially about her so-called_ 'desperate need' _for a cell phone), fashion means everything to her, she is a devoted student (admittedly, that is something she did not get from her father _or_ her mother), and she's at that age where everything he does, no matter what it is, is somehow agonizingly embarrassing to her.

In all honesty, the girl is kind of a spoiled brat and he doesn't pretend to understand her at all, but she is without a doubt the best little mistake he has ever made.

He keeps her a secret for a reason. He thinks it's a very good and incredibly valid reason. He keeps her a secret to protect her. But he's willing to admit that the one thing he has wanted to do from the day she was born is shout from the rooftops, _hey, you see that girl over there? That's my daughter._

.

Beth Daniels wasn't exactly his type. She was sex on legs, sure, but her personality didn't particularly mesh with his, which was officially the understatement of the decade. They drove each other crazy when they were doing anything other than screwing. She was a gorgeous girl with pale skin, dimples and dark raven hair. She was a little on the bitchy side (and not, like, feisty bitchiness either; she had a downright nasty side to her) and she sat comfortably at the top of the food chain as head cheerleader.

Underneath all that frost and ice, there was a fun loving girl with a heart of gold meant only for the people she really cared about. That was her redeeming quality. She was a high and mighty princess, but when she cared about you she _cared_ about you. It just took awhile to melt her ice. Which was fine with him. After Cheyenne, all he really wanted was some fun with a beautiful girl. He didn't want a serious relationship. They never would have lasted anyway. They would have killed each other.

Beth listened to Shania Twain and Jewel, she openly scoffed at his music taste, and she was thoroughly unimpressed with his car. If he wanted someone to fall in love with, he would've chased after her sister, who listened to Garbage and AC/DC, complimented his car, and rolled her eyes at everything Beth thrived on. Even Beth herself once said, ''To be honest with you, Dean, I think you're probably with the wrong sister. But I'm okay with that. ...Because you're really hot.'' But he hadn't wanted someone to fall in love with; he had wanted someone to fall _into._ He hadn't been in the market for a personality; he had been searching for a body.

And so the cheerleader and the bad boy began to hook up under the bleachers.

He wasn't with her for long. A few weeks at the most. But it was certainly long enough to get her good and pregnant.

Beth never told him about her pregnancy. She never actually said to him, ''Dean, I'm pregnant.'' She never told anyone. She never told her parents, never told her friends, never told a _doctor_, for Christ's sake. The only person she told, when she was nearing her due date, was her sister, who was barely sixteen at the time. The Winchester family up and left town right before she found out she was pregnant and Dean had no idea of his impending fatherhood until he got a call from her hysterical sister, telling him Beth was in labor with his kid, she was refusing to go to the hospital and what was she supposed to do?

Beth died shortly after giving birth to Piper. She just went to sleep and never woke up. He was with her when she passed out. In the middle of fawning over their new baby and counting all of her fingers and toes, Beth passed out and never regained consciousness. The doctors said it was a hemmorrhage. Fairly common. Possibly could have been prevented had she been in a hospital when she gave birth. She was seventeen years old. Just because teenagers had babies all the time didn't mean they should. Seventeen year old girls bodies weren't properly _ready_ to give birth.

After that, Beth's sister stepped up to the plate. She was sixteen and she didn't have to become an instant mommy. She could have let her parents raise Piper, but she didn't. And when her mother died when she was eighteen and her father went on a year long bender, she went through the long process of gaining sole custody of her niece, and throughout it all, she did the best that she possibly could under all circumstances.

Piper has always been better off with her aunt, Dean will admit that. He will also admit that he is something of a deadbeat, and perhaps it would be easier for everyone for him to just stay away. He's been wondering about that for years. If his daughter would be better with him out of her life. However, these days...

He has a year to live. That's the bottom line. Time is ticking away and maybe...maybe it's selfish - maybe most of the things he does are done for selfish reasons - but he wants to spend all the time with his daughter that he can. Besides, he has always been selfish, you know. What's the use in changing colors now?

.

One night, during a rare quiet moment in their now extra chaotic lives, Dean turns to Sam under the fluorescent lights of an all night gas station, bites the bullet, and he says, quite plainly, ''I have a daughter.'' Sam's gaze swings from the lights above over to Dean, but when he doesn't say anything in return, Dean continues. ''She's twelve,'' his voice is quiet and raspy and his hand itches to reach for his wallet where there is a picture of his little girl safely tucked in between one of Sammy's old school pictures and the only picture of his mother that he owns. ''Her name is Piper.'' He blinks. ''I just thought you should know.''

Sam tilts his head to the side, frowns, and then nods briskly. ''Yeah, I know,'' he says evenly. ''I've always known.'' There's a beat of silence that gets too loud and then Sam is pushing off the car with a strange little smirk on his face. ''That only took you...what? Like, over twelve years?'' He shakes his head, clicking his tongue in disappointment. ''Asshole.'' Mood effectively lightened, he lets a genuine smile fall over his face and excitement dawns in his eyes like a bright beam of sunlight that cuts through the dark. ''So,'' he says. ''Got any pictures?''

Dean lets out a breath.

Well, okay then.

_Okay._

.

Yep.

But then there's this:

A little over a week after he makes the deal, some downright nasty stuff happens. There are seven deadly sins making chicks kill over fugly green shoes and guys drink Draino, there's a Lust demon trying to swallow his tongue, and there is some serious shit going down everywhere. Somewhere in the midst of all this, Supergirl saves Sam from certain doom.

Dean's grateful and all, but hesitance and exhaustion also seep into his bones. You don't trust women who walk in, slaughter everyone and walk out. You just don't. They almost always mean trouble. Lots of different kinds of trouble. Then Sam describes her (''Blonde, about this tall, pretty..._scary _intense. Kinda like a hotter version of Buffy.'') and _wary_ turns into _fuuuck._

''Well, shit,'' Dean grunts out, gripping the steering wheel far too tightly. ''That sounds an awful lot like Ruby. Uncomfortably so.''

''Who?''

Dean heaves a heavy sigh and feels so very tired all of the sudden. Not an entirely unusual thing when it comes to her. She does not like him much. The feeling is decidedly mutual. The only reason they even pretend to be civil is because he's Piper's father and she's - ''You remember Piper's mother Beth, right? Beth Daniels?''

Sam shrugs. ''Barely. Why?''

''Well, do you remember her sister?''

''Uh, the one with the glasses and the braces? I...sort of remember her. She had a major crush on you. She was like your fangirl for awhile there. Why?''

Dean sends him a sidelong glance.

Sam appears to ponder that for a moment before realization dawns on him. ''Oh. ..._Ohhh. _Wow. That's...? Wow. She certainly - ''

''Got hot?'' Dean smirks.

''Grew up,'' Sam sighs out, shooting his brother a disapproving look. He sinks back in his seat, looking thoughtful as Dean drives down an empty highway, sigh bubbling in his throat. ''Huh.'' Sam shakes his head. ''Unexpected.''

No shit.

.

Adult Ruby Daniels is not at all like teenage Ruby Daniels.

When she was a teenager, she was feisty, sarcastic and blunt, sure, but she was also shy, quiet and if he's being perfectly honest, a little dorky. She kept to herself, reluctantly trailed behind Beth in order to clean up any messes her Cordelia Chase like sister might've made, and yes, she did in fact like him a hell of a lot more than she likes him now. Although she did threaten to castrate him once when he kept calling her kid. She was sort of like Aly Sheedy's character in The Breakfast Club. She was a strange creature he could never quite manage to decode, but she was likeable enough.

Adult Ruby is an entirely different ballpark. She's surly, sarcastic (still), indifferent to anyone who isn't her family, and she is tough as nails. Some of it probably comes from raising a child. Especially a child like Piper. Piper would rule the house if Ruby was a softie. Lord knows the girl certainly has her father wrapped around her finger. Some of Ruby's attitude also probably comes from losing her sister and her mother. Dean knows a little about losing people.

Ruby may be a bitch, but she's a bitch for a reason. The same reason Dean makes one too many jokes at inappropriate times. It's safer to hide behind the mask. It hurts less. Dean knows a thing or two about that too. In fact, he knows that song quite well. Sometimes he thinks he may have written it.

Then again, Ruby could just be a bitch. That's always a possibility too. It's a little harder to tell with her than it is with other people. Ruby has made it abundantly clear that she doesn't like him. She doesn't like him, she doesn't trust him, she doesn't want his help, and she doesn't want anything from him whether it's money or unwanted advice. She makes sure to rub it in his face just how good she's doing with Piper and life in general without his help. The only reason they are ever remotely civil around each other is for Piper's sake. Frankly, it amazes him that she hasn't tried to cut him out of his kid's life. Her father sure has. (Joey Daniels likes him even less than Ruby does.)

Dean and Ruby do not get along. Not by a long shot. It's a simple fact of life. He thinks she's a stubborn, jaded, stuck up bitch and she thinks he's a good for nothing, ne'er-do-well deadbeat loser. Neither of them would ever ask each other for help.

All of this is precisely the reason why it's so odd when _this _happens.

.

In late October, The Winchester brothers stop at a motel off the highway somewhere in Wisconsin. The place has seen better days and the ceiling drips, but there are two beds and a bathroom so it's good enough to be home for a night. While Sam is off raiding the soda machine, Dean busies himself with trying to unlock the porn. And then she pops up out of nowhere like she has a tendency to do, and he never thought she could shock him after all these years but apparently it's criminal to underestimate her.

Good to know.

The door opens with an ominous sounding creak and he lifts his gaze, fully expecting to see Sam. It is most definitely not Sam.

She waltzes into the room like it's hers, all determination and holier than thou smirks as she settles herself in a chair at the rickety table. Her gaze is perfectly even, her breathing is calm... He really hates when she does this super, scary calm shit. It usually happens right before she tries to throw a frying pan at his head.

''Well, hey,'' he smirks and leans closer to her, eyes flashing. ''It's stalker chick. You certainly like to make an entrance, don't you? You don't appear to be a fan of knocking, though. You should really work on that, sweetheart. So, did you miss me? Is that why you're here?''

She stares up at him, blinking innocently.

''Here's a better question for you,'' he bites out impatiently. ''Where's my kid while you're off playing hero?''

''Relax,'' she states lazily. ''She's with my dad. She's fine.''

''What do you want, Ruby?''

She presses her lips together in a tight line and looks away from him, folding her arms over her chest.

He places his hands on his hips. ''Well?''

''I need your help,'' she admits shortly. It honestly looks like it physically pains her to say this. That's unsurprising.

There's a long silence after her confession in which he stands perfectly still, staring at her with disbelieving eyes, and then a slow smirk starts on his lips. ''...Seriously? Is that like a _you tell me you need my help, lure me into the woods and push me into a well _kind of thing? Because I don't want to do that.''

She heaves a sigh and looks at him like he is the biggest idiot of all the idiots in the kingdom of idiots. Again: That's unsurprising. That's pretty much just her face. At least when it comes to him. ''If it were that kind of thing,'' she deadpans. ''I wouldn't tell you, now would I?''

''I don't have the time or the patience for your games, Lorelai Gilmore.''

''This isn't a game, _Christopher_,'' she snaps, jumping to her feet.

''Oh, _ow. _You cut me deep.''

''You started it.'' He had forgotten how deadly she looks when she's got that angry glare of hers painted on her face. It's hot, but it's also terrifying. ''I need your help, okay? Do not make me say it again.''

He shakes his head, chuckling under his breath. ''I just find it hard to believe that you need my help after previously swearing that even if you were bleeding to death in an alleyway, you wouldn't call me. I mean, it's almost kind of poetic, wouldn't you - ''

''Piper's in trouble.''

He sobers instantly, smirk falling off his face. His heart drops to his stomach and about a million unacceptable scenarios, each one more terrifying than the last run through his head.

''Yeah,'' she nods, wry smirk falling across her lips. ''That certainly got your attention, didn't it?''

And _that_ is how his last year begins.

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><p><em>''Am I now supposed to go on Oprah and cry and tell you my deepest, darkest secrets because you want to know?''<br>_**- Kevin Spacey**

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><p><strong>end chapter one<strong>

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><p><strong>AN: So, that's chapter one. Hope you all enjoyed it. It's going to be a bumpy ride for Dean, Ruby, and Piper. Before I go, I just want to address the issue of Dean keeping a secret that huge from Sam for twelve years. Do I think canon!Dean would do that? Absolutely. If he thought he was protecting his child by keeping her a secret, hell yeah he'd do it. It would likely eat away at him and give him yet another layer of self-loathing and guilt, but...yeah. I think it would definitely be in character for Dean to keep a secret that big.<strong>

**OH, and also? As I'm sure you've noticed, I've decided to try out some new story breaks. What did you think of them? Did it make the story easier or harder to read?**** Should I just go back to using the line breaks the site provides?**


	2. Father will come to his babe in the nest

_AN: Happy premiere night! I'm back with the second chapter. I have a lot of things to say about this story, but I'm going to save it for the end of the chapter. So be prepared for a big long info dump at the end of the chapter._

_Chapter title from the poem ''Sweet and Low'' by Alfred Lord Tennyson._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>slower, slower<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

_''Father will come to his babe in the nest''_

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><p><em>''It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.''<br>_**- Fredrick Douglass**

* * *

><p>Nervous doesn't sound like the right word to use.<p>

He's not nervous exactly. He's just a little..._hesitant_. Yes. Hesitant. That's the right word. He's worked so hard over the years to keep these two worlds of his from colliding and the idea of the two finally melding together is a tad unsettling. Don't get him wrong, he's glad Sam finally gets to meet Piper. That's not what he's having problems with. It's about time those two met. It's everything else in his hunting life that he doesn't want touching his daughter.

It may sound stupid and illogical but for years some part of him has thought that if he kept everything separated then he could keep her safe. He and Ruby have never kept what's out there a secret from Piper - it'd be really hard to keep that a secret considering the part of Ruby that makes her stronger than Buffy, braver than a Halliwell, and about ten times less whiny than all of the aforementioned Girl Power - but they have both made sure to tell her that she never needs to worry about anything because they'll take care of it. He has kept the bad things from her for twelve years. He's just terrified that combining his two worlds once and for all will put her in constant danger. Her life doesn't need an open invitation for danger. Her life needs to be normal.

Hey, it's not like he can promise he'll be there to protect her forever, right? He can promise to protect her for one last year, he can probably even promise to stand outside her room every night for a year to keep her safe until the hounds come for him, but he cannot promise to always be there. And that kills him a little bit, it really does, but...but...

He is a man of two worlds. One of his worlds is Piper. It's a world full of infectious laughter, sunshine, Michigan suburbs, Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne, and an undercurrent of guilt and regret over everything that happened with Beth. The other world is Sam. Plain and simple. It's Sam and motel beds and the open road and the only home he has ever known.

The funny thing is, he's always had a sneaking suspicion he'd die for one of his worlds. He just always assumed he'd die trying to keep his worlds apart.

.

They arrive in town on a Friday just after school has let out.

Three Rivers, Michigan is the same place it's always been, and the suburban street his daughter lives on is just as Pleasantville as it was the last time he was here. One might think the suburbs is an odd place to find Ruby Daniels, which is a perfectly understandable viewpoint given her not so sunnypersonality, but she actually fits into this world better than you'd think. Maybe it's because she had a fairly stable upbringing for the first fifteen years of her life so she knows what normal looks like and how it works, or maybe it's just because she's a chameleon and can blend in anywhere like some sort of spy or ninja. Whatever the reason may be, Dean has it on good authority that to the outside world, Ruby is just another single mother, albeit a somewhat bitchy one.

She's like a female Clark Kent.

On the flip side, he's about ninety eight percent sure the entire neighborhood thinks he's a flighty, irresponsible loser of a dad. Perhaps if he tucked in his shirt and wore jeans without holes in them? You think that would help? Maybe if he shaved more often?

Fall in Three Rivers is...bright. Everything is sunny and colorful on Elm street (nope, he's not even joking; Ruby and Piper seriously live on Elm street). The world is made of bright oranges and yellows as the trees shed leaves onto the green grass, there are Halloween decorations blowing in the wind and hanging in windows and from trees, and kids roam the streets like they belong there. It's October so it's getting chilly out, but the sun is still blinding and the neighborhood kids seem to take that as a sign that it's still playtime. There are kids on bikes, kids playing with dogs, little boys chasing after little girls, there's a family out on their lawn carving pumpkins, and there are two little girls across the street with an honest to God lemonade stand. It would all be so sickeningly sweet and cliched and aggravating if he didn't want it all so much.

He could do that if he tried. He could be normal. He knows he could. He just doesn't have the time.

''Dear God,'' Sam mutters as he climbs out of the Impala, breaking Dean out of his self induced reverie in the process. ''Have I died and gone to Wisteria Lane?''

Dean smirks weakly and tears his eyes away from the peaceful happiness of the neighborhood with a sigh. ''Don't know,'' he says, ''you see any cougars?''

''I'm not going to admit that I watch Desperate Housewives or anything, but they're not all cougars.''

''Just saying that proves that you do.''

Sam lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. ''I regret nothing.''

''Hey, ladies. You wanna get your asses in here or would you rather stay out here in Munchkin land with the Doublemint Twins across the street?''

Dean throws a look over his shoulder, arching an eyebrow when he spots Ruby leaning against the doorframe. ''You know,'' he turns to face her, shaking his head at her in disappointment. ''You shouldn't scowl so much. One of these days, your face will get stuck like that. ...Unless that's already happened.''

''Eat me, Winchester.''

''Why don't you just go back to your cave, you grouchy little midget? Send Piper out here so I can enjoy the sunshine with her.''

When Sam glances at Dean out of the corner of his eye, Dean shrugs and watches as Ruby scoffs and spins on her heel, marching back into the house. Cheery, she is not. But he's still going to wind up following her in the house, away from all the lollipops and rainbows of the outside world. ''Well,'' Dean says. ''That's Ruby. She ain't no delicate flower,'' he warns. ''You piss her off and she will cut you. And you're new, so I'd be careful if I were you.''

That's some sound advice...

...Sam doesn't wind up needing any of it.

.

Dean doesn't think it's at all fair that Sam and Ruby bond immediately. He's been a part of Ruby's life for over thirteen years and she still loathes him with every fiber of her being. Other than meeting him briefly when they were kids, Ruby has known Sam for all of five minutes and they're already best buddies. There's something incredibly not right about that. It bothers him. It bothers him a lot actually. A little more than it probably should. What's that about? It's not - It's _definitely _not jealousy. That's ridiculous. Why would he be jealous?

After a few minutes of watching in discomfort as Sam and Ruby charm each other (and it_ really _bugs him, man, what is that?) Dean powers through the unpleasant feeling in his gut and gets right to the heart of the matter. His kid's in trouble, there's no time for jealousy. ...Not that there was any jealousy to begin with, of course.

The stories of the strange events that started about a month ago don't really leave much wiggle room. It's all pretty clear. They're dealing with a spirit. That much is obvious. Ruby tells them of sudden cold spots in the house and minor things like rearranged furniture or missing keys. Basic mischievious poltergeist shit there. Things get freaky when Ruby tells them about the floating knives and the car turning on by itself. The icing on the cake is learning about the mysterious scratches and bruises on Piper's body.

Okay, so they're dealing with a badass ghost who needs to be taken out. That is not hard to figure out. What's really hard to figure out is why this ghost is here. Why it's targeting Piper. Ruby and Piper moved into this house five years ago. Dean remembers that because he was the one who had to lug in all their heavy crap. Both Beth and her mother were cremated and most of their possessions are either boxed up in storage or with Ruby's father. Not to mention they've both been dead longer than the haunting has been going on and neither of them would ever want to hurt Piper. So, as it goes, they've got fuck all on the identity of the ghost or the reason why.

Well, whatever. Doesn't matter. Dean may not know who is haunting his daughter or why, but he knows Casper is going down.

Then again, things are never that cut and dry when it comes to the Winchester's and their problems.

.

His daughter, while supremely awesome in his slightly biased opinion, is incredibly hyper and enthusiastic. One might say she's possibly a little overly hyper. Dean learned that when she could bounce before she could walk. Sam learns that when Princess Piper makes her grand entrance. Everyone learns that Dean's choice to stand below the stairs isn't the wisest idea he's ever had.

First, there's this:

''Piper!'' Ruby calls up the stairs, still glancing at Dean with contempt. ''Your dad's here!''

There's a pause before Piper's high pitched voice floats back down the stairs. ''What?''

''Your. Father. Is. Here!''

''What?''

''Take your headphones off!''

''..._What_?''

''Take your...TAKE YOUR DAMN HEADPHONES OFF AND GET YOUR SKINNY LITTLE ASS DOWN HERE!''

''Okay! _Geez!_''

''Sometimes,'' Dean mulls, ''I think about what being in a sitcom would be like...and then I realize it's pretty much this.''

''Those are the thoughts that keep you up late at night?'' Sam asks dryly.

Then Piper appears at the top of the stairs. Yeah, so he knows he's awesome and all, and he is all too aware that as she grows older, her squealed greetings are getting louder and louder, but he is not at all prepared for this. When she sees him, she lets loose a squeal that sounds oddly reminiscent of a baby pig at feeding time and when she's about halfway down the staircase, she full on launches herself at him. Now, Piper's a tiny little child. Girl weighs like three pounds. So it's more the shock of a screaming prebubescent girl smacking into him that sends him to the ground. The upside is, sometime before he lands hard on his back, he manages to push Ruby out of the way and Sam stumbles backwards. At least they can say they avoided a domino-like situation.

''Piper,'' Ruby sighs, ''you have got to stop greeting him like that. You're going to throw the old man's back out. Also, you're not a dog.''

Even when Dean finally manages to pick both himself and Piper up off the ground, she's still crawling all over his back like a friggin' wild animal. She has always talked fast so it's pretty hard to catch whatever she's chattering animatedly about while she hangs off his neck and won't even let him get in a, ''hi, baby, it's good to see you'' edgewise but he's certain he heard her throw in an errant plea for money into her rambles. She always does that.

''Dude,'' Sam cuts in, talking over Piper's babbling. ''Your child's a monkey.''

And so that's how Sam met Piper.

.

Here's a life lesson for you: There is nothing creepier than a twelve year old girl's bedroom. There's freaky looking stuffed animals everywhere, everything's pink, and sugary pop stars are staring at him from the posters plastered on the walls. He remembers the last time he was in her room there was a giant poster of Jesse McCartney right beside her bed. The last time he was in her room, there were a ton of glittery, sparkly objects, Jesse McCartney and his surfer boy look were leering at his daughter from beside her bed, and there were posters of Christina Aguliera, Britney Spears, and Madonna everywhere. That was a mere two months ago.

My, how things have changed.

When he steps foot into her room today, the glitter is gone, Britney and Christina have been edged out by Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, and some chick whose name cannot _seriously_ be JoJo, and some other dude has taken up residence in the coveted bedside spot. Dean resists the urge to sigh. Can't she just have pictures of puppies and kittens on her wall like she did when she was all cute and less bratty? He flops down on her bed with The Little Mermaid sheets, pulling a stuffed rabbit out from behind his head. ''Who's the new guy?'' He questions, jerking his thumb in the direction of the smarmy dude with the crew cut, who is actually startlingly familiar.

''That's Justin Timberlake, Daddy,'' Piper says in a tone of voice that tells him this is information everyone in the world should know.

''Right. The guy from N'Sync?''

She rolls her eyes. ''Daaad.''

''What?'' He tosses the rabbit at the foot of the bed. ''It was a question! How the fuck does that get a whine?''

''That wasn't a whine,'' she mumbles under her breath, climbing onto the bed next to him. ''And Aunt Ruby says you're not supposed to swear in front of me.''

''What Aunt Ruby doesn't know won't hurt her,'' he fires back.

She eyes him closely. ''Aunt Ruby,'' she starts slowly. ''Knows everything.''

He chuckles and doesn't argue, staring up at the glow in the dark stars that have been on the ceiling for five years, have lost most of their glow, and won't come off no matter what. Piper frowns at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion as she reaches over to steal back her stuffed rabbit from where Dean has so carelessly dumped it. This would be one of those moments where all he can see is her mother when he looks at her. She stares at him closely for an unnerving moment and then hauls herself to her feet. ''I know you're not here just to visit me,'' she states, beginning to roll up the sleeves of the shirt that is much to warm to be wearing on a sunny and mild day like today. She's not looking at him as she thrusts her arms out towards him, displaying the numerous bruises and scratches on her arms, at least one of them hand shaped as if someone has wrapped their hands around her wrists and squeezed. ''And,'' she clears her throat, wincing briefly and staring at the ground when he gently pulls her closer to him. ''There are...There are some scratches on my back too. I haven't told Aunt Ruby about those ones,'' she admits shakily. ''I didn't want to worry her more than she already is.''

Despite the twin feelings of overwhelming rage and terror that assault him at the sight of the bruises on his daughter's pale skin, Dean clenches his jaw and puts on a brave face for her. Panicking is only going to make her panic, which is something he does not want to do. Plastering a patented Winchester brave face on her young face, Piper draws in a deep breath and turns around, lifting her shirt just enough to show him the scratches on her back. Dean swallows and runs a hand over his face. She turns her head ever so slightly. ''It's not that bad, right?''

He eyes the scratches warily and then, as gentle as he can possibly be, he touches one. She flinches and he draws his hand away quickly. Well, there's no blood if that's what she means. When she drops her shirt and whirls around, peering up at him with wide, frightened eyes, he fixes what he hopes is a convincing smile on his face and brushes hair out of her face. ''Nah, it's not so bad. But...'' He tugs her to him and pulls her onto his lap. ''Baby - ''

Piper's eyes narrow and her lips pinch. ''Dad - ''

''Piper, now is not the time to debate over whether or not you're still a baby,'' he says sternly.

She sighs heavily and rolls her eyes.

''Listen to me,'' he starts, using his best Dad voice. ''I get that you didn't want to worry your aunt, but if anything else happens, you need to tell someone, all right?''

She nods, sliding off his lap and clasping her hands. ''Okay. Is it...'' She fidgets, shifting from foot to foot. ''Do you think it's a ghost?''

He nods. No use in keeping it from her. ''I do.'' He stands, offering her a smile. ''But don't worry. We'll get it.''

''Oh.'' She nods again, biting her lip. Hesitant and thoughtful looking, she nervously tucks a strand of brown hair behind her ear and looks up at him. ''Dad?''

''Hmm?''

''You don't think...I mean, the ghost or whatever... It's not my mom, is it?''

He pauses and his breath catches. For about a second. Then he waves it off and shakes his head. ''No way,'' he declares firmly. ''Your mom was crazy, darlin', but she wasn't that crazy. Now come on.''

''Where?''

''Have you put anything on those scratches?''

''No. I tried to, but I couldn't reach them.''

Dean crooks a finger at her. ''Then move your little butt.''

''Aw,'' she wrinkles her nose, but doesn't try to dig her heels into the ground when he starts to lead her out of the bedroom. ''But it's going to sting.''

He shrugs. ''Yeah. Probably. Suck it up, little bit. The scratches aren't bleeding, but they're pretty deep. They need to be bandaged. When did they show up?''

''Day before yesterday.''

''Then they need to be cleaned too.'' He steers a still grumbling Piper into the bathroom, completely unaware of the presence behind him, and he shuts the door.

The dark, angry eyes watch closely, narrowed into angry slits. ''Dean Winchester.'' The voice is a garbled sounding snarl, full of rage and hate, venom laced into the tone like a snake bite. The shadowy mass of dark eyes hovering in the hallway transforms into a human figure. The figure of a pretty young woman with an ugly sneer on her young face. She has dark, stringy hair, chapped lips, and pale, pale skin. The black nightgown she's wearing, streaked with barely visible dark red dried blood, hangs off of her frame and the thin robe she's wearing almost drags across the floor as she pads across the hardwood floors in bare feet. She stops at the closed bathroom door, tilting her head to the side. Slowly, she glides forwards and presses her hand flat against the door, painted black nails splayed out against the white door.

''Ouch!'' Piper's screech of pain from inside the bathroom sends the woman jolting backwards, lip curling back as she lets out a hiss of discontent. ''Dad, that stings!''

''I know, baby, I'm sorry.''

The woman backs away from the door like it's more of a monster than she is. She spins on her heel abrputly and starts to stride down the hallway, slowly disappating into nothing as she goes. Just as she disappears, the bathroom door swings open and Dean steps out, eyes scanning the hallway for any immediate signs of danger. His lips curve downwards when he sees nothing.

''What are you doing?'' Piper asks, trying to crane her neck to look at her back.

''Nothing,'' he answers quickly. ''I just thought I...'' He trails off, shaking his head. ''Nothing. Nevermind.'' He turns around only to stop in his tracks when he sees what's on the bathroom door. Burned right into the wood, paint chipped around the edges, is the shape of a human hand.

.

Ruby turns the tap on, letting the water run over her fingers until it grows warm. Absently humming under her breath, she looks out the window, watching Piper meticulously practice her ballet steps out in the backyard. A small smile covers her lips as she watches Piper twirl expertly. Ruby shakes her head and plucks a dirty dish from the sink, rinsing it under the tap water before depositing it in the dishwasher. Grabbing another dish, she repeats the action, periodically looking out the window to check on Piper, rinsing dishes, and listening to Dean and Sam trample around upstairs with their EMFs.

''Well, congratulations,'' Dean had said, jerking his thumb towards an apparently ghostly handprint burned into the bathroom door. ''You're haunted.''

Ruby just can't figure it out. She and Piper have been living in his house for five years now and they had never had a problem with it. In fact, both she and Dean had made sure to check out the history of the house before she bought it. And she never shopped at flea markets or estate sales because of the possibility of buying something haunted so there was little to no chance of the culprit being a haunted vase or silverware set. She had certainly experienced loss in her life, what with both her sister and her mother passing away only a few years apart, but they had both been cremated. She had nothing of Beth's in her house, except for, you know, Piper, and while she did have a few things that belonged to her mother, she refused to believe her mother would do something like this.

It doesn't make any sense. Why now? Why them? What makes them so special?

With a shake of her head, Ruby decides to put all thoughts of ghosts out of her mind for at least five minutes. She's almost finished rinsing her stack of dishes when there's a sudden loud crack. She whips around to look at the dishwasher, slowly putting down the bowl in her hand and drying her hands on the dishtowel. Frowning curiously, she examines the dishwasher carefully, eventually pulling out a plate that has somehow managed to crack in half.

Okaaay.

She shrugs it off, and dumps the broken glass in the garbage. Strange, but not an impossible occurrence. She turns back to the running water to finish her mundane task and instantly lets out a sharp gasp, heart skipping a beat. The running water has turned into a thick red goopy substance that looks unnervingly like blood. She dives forwards and pushes the tap down to shut off the water. As soon as she removes her hand from the tap, however, it turns back on and sends gruesome red liquid spurting from the tap, sloshing over the edge of the sink. She grimaces in disgust, but before she can open her mouth to call for Dean, another sharp, loud crack sounds.

Ruby turns around slowly just in time to jump back as a glass in the dishwasher cracks and explodes violently, sending glass spraying everywhere. The pipes shake and moan as red goo continues to spew from the tap. Her eyes instinctively stray towards the window and she searches desperately for Piper, but the little girl's not there. ''Piper!'' She tears away from the window and catches sight of the back door opening. Another crack sounds and the mug Piper made her for mother's day when she was five explodes like a bottle rocket. ''Piper, stay outside!'' Ruby throws herself at the door, slamming it to keep her niece safe outside as the dishes begin to explode one by one.

The sound of frantic footsteps echo through the house, followed by Dean's urgent holler of her name. Somehow, over the sounds of the pipes rumbling and the dishes shattering, Ruby swears she hears someone whispering her name. Dean and Sam come skidding to a halt, guns blazing, just as everything stops. All unnatural activity ceases, leaving behind a mess of broken glass all over the floor and red gunk so thick it clogs the sink.

Ruby's shoulders slump in relief. Breathing heavily, she surveys the shattered glass all over her kitchen.

''Ruby...'' Dean's boots crunch over the glass as he rushes towards her, somewhat foolishly discarding his rocksalt filled shotgun on the counter. He eyes the sink, then lets his hand fall to the small of her back, guiding her away from the mess. For a brief moment in time, the only sound is the sound of the EMF in Sam's hand going crazy. ''Where's Piper?'' Dean asks, breaking the silence.

''She's outside,'' Ruby murmurs breathlessly.

Dean flicks his eyes towards Sam and nods his head towards the door. In an instant, Sam's lumbering to the back door to check on Piper, passing off the EMF to Dean as he goes. Once the door clicks shut behind Sam, Dean moves back over to the sink to take a closer look at the blood like crap. ''Okay, who the hell is this little shit?'' Ruby demands sharply, guarded eyes scanning all around the house for any more signs of supernatural trouble.

''I don't know,'' Dean says gruffly. He experimentally turns on the tap and clean water spurts out like it's mocking them. ''But whoever the hell it is, it sure doesn't like Sam and I poking around trying to get rid of it.''

''Jesus fucking Christ,'' Ruby moans, rubbing her forehead. She can already feel a stress headache forming. ''Fuck my life. How could this even happen?''

''I don't...'' Dean trails off, twirling around in a circle, eyes searching for something. ''Do you hear that?'' He spins around again, trying to work out where the strange noise is coming from.

Ruby listens for a moment, and then her own ears pick up on it. It's a quiet, continuous cracking sound. Almost like a ripping. ''Yeah, what...what is that?''

''I don't know.'' He moves quickly around the counter and grasps her wrist. ''But I think we should go now.''

Too late. One of the glass cupboards shatters noisily. Dean and Ruby both turn their attention to the kitchen window and the quickly moving cracks.

Ruby can bitch a lot about Dean Winchester and what he does and does not do, but she can't bitch about his reflexes. He has killer reflexes. In the span of what feels like a millisecond, he's got his cell phone pressed to his ear and he's dragging her out of the kitchen. It's no use really. All of the windows in the living room have fine spider web like patterns growing on their smooth surfaces. ''Sam,'' Dean barks into his phone, looking around for any possible escape that doesn't involve glass. ''Get her away from the windows.''

...Christ, has this house always had this much glass?

And then the windows implode.

Every window, every dish, every vase, every lightbulb, every piece of glass blows up, sending sharp shards spraying inwards. Even though Dean has shoved her to the ground and is practically on top of her in an attempt to shield her from the blast, Ruby can still feel the sharp sting of glass cutting into her skin. There's a scream coming from somewhere outside the house - Piper - and Ruby can just barely hear Sam's frantic voice over Dean's phone.

And then, just like that, it's all over and everything goes quiet. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barks.

Dean rises first, shaking glass off. There's blood dripping down his cheek from a cut above his eyebrow, but he doesn't even seem to notice it, offering her a hand. She reluctantly takes the hand she is offered. ''So...definitely a pissed off poltergeist then?''

He nods. ''Without a doubt.''

''Dean,'' she says carefully, looking over his shoulder nervously. She reaches out to grasp his jacket slowly. ''I think we need to go now.''

Dean turns his head to look at whatever she's looking at and tenses when he spots the gang of four floating knives, pointy and lethal ends pointed right at them. ''Good plan.''

.

Joey Daniels glances out the front window at the setting sun briefly before letting the curtains fall back. Whistling cheerfully, he checks his watch and then moves back into the kitchen to check on his dinner. Absently stirring the pot of chili on the stove, he idly thinks about having a barbeque sometime. It's been a long time since he had a good and proper barbeque. It'd be a good excuse to see Ruby and Piper, that's for sure. Those girls are always so busy. He and Victoria used to throw barbeque parties all the time. They'd invite the whole neighborhood and proudly show off their two perfect daughters. He sighs. Yes. It's been a long time.

His eyes go to the picture on the fridge, taken the October right before Beth's death, at the last party he ever had with all three of his girls. Leaving the chili simmering on the stove, he plucks the photo off the fridge and studies it, a painful melancholy feeling starting in his chest. He remembers that Halloween party. Beth would have been five months pregnant with Piper then. He squints his eyes to study the picture of Beth, forever seventeen. Maybe it's something he should start to let go of, but he still doesn't understand why. Why did Beth keep it a secret? Didn't she trust them? Was she that afraid? How could she have kept it a secret for that long? How could he and Victoria have been so clueless?

He shakes it away and puts the picture back on the fridge. Ruby's always telling him to let go of the past and move on. He only wishes he knew how to do that.

That's when the doorbell rings.

The last person he expects to see on the other side of that door is Ruby. It's a Thursday. Piper's ballet class is tomorrow. The night before is always hectic, he knows that. But there's his youngest, standing there looking exhausted, sheepish, and frustrated all at the same time. A look she has mastered. Paternal instincts kick in and he zeroes in on the rips in her clothes as well as the bloodstains. ''Sweetheart, what - ''

''Long story,'' she cuts in. ''Also...Hi, Daddy.''

''Ruby, what happened?''

''It's a really long - ''

''Then shorten it.''

She sighs. ''Bottom line is...'' She looks over her shoulder and when he eyes follow her gaze, his body goes ramrod straight and his fists clench. Dean Winchester is _strutting_ up the walkway, still as obnoxiously cocky as ever. Joey's gut instinct tells him to lunge, but Ruby's giving him that look of hers that tells him if he tries anything she'll never speak to him again. ''Basically,'' Ruby starts to say. ''Our house is kind of haunted and we need a place to stay for a couple days.''

Dean, lopsided smile and all, raises a hand in a half wave. ''Hi, Mr. Daniels. How've you been? How's life?''

''Boy, the fact that you're holding my granddaughter will only hold me off for so long,'' Joey monotones.

Dean snaps his mouth shut and tries to nonchalantly step behind Ruby. Piper looks around at the adults surrounding her and then she arches an eyebrow, whistling lowly. ''Whoa,'' she drawls. ''Awkward.''

* * *

><p><em>''Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.''<br>_**- Gloria Naylor**

* * *

><p><strong>end chapter two<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, I have two long info dumps I need to get out.<strong>

**First of all...Now you have officially met Piper. Isn't she something? When I was first writing this story, her character was a little different. She was more witty and blunt and Dean-like. But then I realized I was basically writing Lila Bray with a different name so I quickly realized that wasn't going to work out. I didn't want Piper to be a poor man's Lila Bray. I wanted her to be the exact opposite of Lila Bray. So, in time, Piper became a very stereotypical preteen girl who has an insane amount of love for pretty much everything her father hates. The fact that this opens up a lot of doors for possible humorous situations also helped mold her personality. Come on, who doesn't want to see Dean parading around a little girl who listens to nothing but sugary pop music? Who doesn't want to see him attempt to handle that?**

**And yes, as much as it pains me to admit it, I'm quite certain Piper is probably a Twilight fan.**

**Second of all, as I'm sure you've noticed, this is another story in which Joey Daniels (as played by Dorian Harewood in my only slightly deranged mind) appears. He's pretty much my go to guy when I need to give Ruby a family. However, there are some differences in the backstory this time. Usually, the story goes something like this: Joey and Victoria (Eva Tamargo) Daniels adopt Ruby at birth from a young teenage couple and they raise her in New Jersey to be close to Victoria's large and loud family. Unfortunately, Victoria dies in a car accident when Ruby is thirteen and Joey continues to raise her alone. At least that's the story I used in ''well, bless my soul'' and all related stories and, to a somewhat lesser extent, ''Until You.''**

**This story is a little different. As opposed to Ruby being completely human, in this story she is a half demon. Born to a human mother and a demon father (or a demon mother and a human father; I haven't decided yet), she was abandoned on the streets and taken in by a hunter, Joey, and his wife, Victoria. Instead of Jersey, the family lived in Michigan, away from Victoria's well meaning but controlling family. Eventually, Joey retired as a hunter and opened a bar and he and Victoria adopted another little girl when Ruby was three. Four year old Beth. Unfortunately, Beth passed away at age seventeen and Victoria still passed away in a car accident when Ruby was eighteen. **

**The reason I'm telling you this now instead of putting it in the story is because I'm not exactly sure all of this information is going to make it into story. I have very specific plans for this story and big long tales about her backstory may not make the cut, so I'm telling you all now.**

**And I'm going to shut up now.**


	3. And all I loved, I loved alone

_AN: Hello, friends and enemies. I'm back, and I'm in a very, very good mood. You see, my peeps..._

_It is my birthday. Yes, you have heard right. This morning, at 9:58am, I turned eighteen. So there is excitement all around. And I thought I'd share my good mood and my excitement with you guys by posting another chapter of ''slower, slower'' otherwise known around my house as ''The Piper Story.''_

_So, while you guys read and (hopefully) enjoy this story, I'm going to go open my presents!_

_Chapter title from the poem ''Alone'' by Edgar Allan Poe. _

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>slower, slower<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

_''And all I loved, I loved alone''_

* * *

><p><em>''It is much easier to become a father than to be one.''<br>_**- Kent Nerburn**

* * *

><p><strong>February 2nd, 1997<strong>

_Eighteen year old Dean Winchester sits stoically in the driver's seat of his car, hands twisting around the steering wheel anxiously. His eyes fix on the house in the rearview window and he licks his lips nervously. The house is still the same. It still has the same prickly rose bush out front, it still has the same paint job and the same cars are still parked out front. The only noticeable differences are the balloons hanging off the mailbox and the cheerful, colorful looking sign on top of the door that proudly displays the words, ''I'm one year old today!''_

_Dean lets out a heavy sigh and leans his head back against the seat. It's been a long time since he's been here to this house. One year, to be exact. The last time he was here... If he closes his eyes, he can still picture all of the blood, still hear Beth's screams and Ruby's panicked, gulping sobs. He swallows hard. Out of all the things he has seen, the events of that night will always remain the most terrifying. He licks his lips and stares out the rearview mirror once again. An unfamiliar car rumbles down the street right past him and swings into the driveway of the house he is watching so intently. Someone equally unfamiliar climbs out of the car with a brightly wrapped present in their hand and proceeds up the steps. Dean holds his breath when he watches them ring the doorbell, leaning closer._

_His heart is thudding noisily against his ribcage as he watches, unblinking. His heart clenches when the door opens, but when all he manages to catch is a brief glimpse of pudgy baby hand and a flash of Victoria Daniels' long dark hair, air returns to him in a whoosh and he lets out a breath, half of relief, half of disappointment. The partygoer disappears into the house with Victoria, and Dean groans, letting his head drop onto the steering wheel. ''Okay, Winchester,'' he mumbles to himself. ''Time to buck the fuck up, princess.''_

_He sits straight, sucks in a deep breath, and opens the door. The old door of the Impala creaks when he opens it and he tries to take comfort in the old, familiar sound as he climbs out onto slightly unsteady legs. Bravely, he shuts the door and crosses the street before he can manage to talk himself out of it. Once he has successfully made it to the doorstep without passing out, he allows himself to stop and breathe a bit, stopping momentarily to mentally pat himself on the back for getting this far._

_Adrenaline kicking in (finally! Nice to see you, old friend!), his heart starts to pound and his blood pumps the natural drug through him, giving him a form of liquid courage that not even whiskey could beat. Cracking his knuckles - a terrible nervous habit that many have told him is wilding intimidating - he reaches out and rings the doorbell. About five seconds before the door opens, he loses his nerve, but by then it's way too late to back out._

_The door swings open and Joey Daniels stands before him, eyes darkening with what looks like pure rage the moment he lays eyes on the Winchester on his doorstep. ''You...''_

_''Wait,'' Dean gets out breathlessly. ''Just...Just wait a minute. Hear me out, I'm beggin' you.'' When Joey says nothing and doesn't punch him in the face, Dean takes that as his cue to go on. ''I know I have no right to be here,'' he says quickly. ''And I know you probably hate me. You have every right to hate me. I'll be the first to admit that. I made a lot of mistakes with your daughter. But please...please...just let me see my daughter on her birthday. I know - I know I shouldn't be asking for this, but I just...I need to know she's all right.'' He finishes by taking in a large gulp of chilly February air._

_Joey stares at him for a moment with an unreadable expression on his face and Dean foolishly allows himself to hope for the best. But then Joey looks down and laughs a humorless laugh, shaking his head. ''Your daughter,'' he echoes around his bitter chuckle. ''Your daughter.'' He looks up, eyes flashing with fire and anger and blame as he steps over the threshold threateningly. ''You listen to me, boy,'' he warns in a low, gravelly growl. ''You get the hell off my property before I call the cops. You are no more a father than I am a king.'' He pokes Dean on the chest with as much strength as he can muster, sending the boy stumbling back. ''You have no rights to that little girl. You...'' Joey stops, voice cracking, eyes suddenly shimmering. ''You killed my daughter. We don't want you here,'' he snarls. ''Now why don't you do what you do best and leave?'' Without waiting for an answer and with one more glower, Joey steps back and slams the door shut in Dean's face._

_Dean swallows the lump that has grown in his throat and tries to shake and shrug it off, like he does everything else. ''Well,'' he says to himself. ''That went about as well as I thought it would.'' He tries to smirk but it wobbles and slides off of his lips almost immediately. He turns on his heel slowly, running a hand over his mouth and trying not to show the indescribable pain he's feeling._

_That's it._

_He's never going to see his daughter ever again. He's not going to see who she'll turn out to be because he listened to his father. He lifts his eyes and stops in his tracks the moment he sets eyes on his car. There's a girl leaning against it, arms crossed, head down. He can't see her face but he can't shake the feeling that he knows her. She's blonde and thin and her body language is closed off, but that doesn't tell him a whole lot. There have been a lot of blondes who have reason to hate him, as bad as that sounds. He moves slowly and hesitantly down the steps, desperately trying to place her. Is she one of Beth's friends? One of the girls he had a fling with before he moved onto Beth? He's about halfway across the street when she lifts her head and looks right at him._

_He freezes._

_''Holy shit.'' He edges towards her, eyeing her incredulously. ''Ruby?'' His lips part in shock and his eyes rake over her body. There are absolutely no traces of the girl he knew in her. Not anymore. He knows she lost the braces a couple years ago, but now... The glasses are gone, the hair is longer, the body is leaner, the clothes are different, and her eyes... It's her eyes that have changed the most. They're hard and focused and they look right through him. He glances over his shoulder briefly, half expecting to see Joey charging at him with his shotgun for even daring to go near his remaining daughter. ''Ruby,'' he breathes out. ''You look...You look so different. You...You...''_

_''Got hot?'' She asks dryly._

_''Grew up,'' Dean corrects softly. By now, snow is falling slowly and when he snaps out of his trance and sees that she's only wearing a thin long sleeved shirt and jeans, he snaps to attention, stripping off his heavy jacket and draping it over her shoulders. ''What are you…?'' He clears his throat. ''What are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?''_

_''My mom told me,'' Ruby says simply, crossing her arms. ''She saw you pull up. She was going to invite you in, but she didn't think it would be a good idea to let my dad know you were here.'' She smiles wryly. ''Guess that plan fizzled.''_

_''Your mom... She was going to invite me in?''_

_She turns to look at him. ''My mom doesn't blame you for any of this, Dean. She never has. She's not angry at you like my dad is. She just... I don't think she can look at you right now.''_

_He winces. ''Ouch.''_

_She glances at him out of the corner of her eye but doesn't say a word. _

_They're both silent for a moment, Ruby scuffing at the ground with her shoe and Dean staring at the fluffy white snowflakes falling from the sky. ''So,'' Dean breaks the awkward silence, turning to her abruptly. ''How've you been?'' It's not a terribly well thought out question. He realizes that almost as soon as he says it, regret pooling in his stomach._

_She pushes off the car, whirling around to glare at him through narrowed eyes. ''How have I been?'' She spits out. ''Oh, I've been fucking fantastic, Dean. My sister's dead and I've been the one looking after your kid.'' She leans in closer to him, grasping his jacket. Apparently the changes in her are not only physical. Along with longer hair and harder eyes, she seems to have developed one majorly gigantic chip on her shoulder. ''Believe me,'' she hisses. ''I've been just peachy.''_

_''Ruby,'' he says her name quietly and can't bring himself to look her in the eye. There may be anger, but the hurt is even brighter. ''I'm sorry.''_

_She snorts. ''You're sorry.'' Her eyes water and she steps away from him, shaking her hair into her eyes to hide the tears. ''Where were you?'' She swats at his chest, voice shaking with hurt and anger. ''That's your kid in there, Dean. That's your daughter. And you just disappeared without a word for a year. She already has to grow up without a mother, you know. You should've been there for her. You're her father, Dean!''_

_''I know that!'' There's a sudden explosion of white hot something in his chest and his eyes sting with excruciating pain. In one swift movement, he's jolted forwards and grabbed her wrists in a tight lock. ''I know that, Ruby,'' he repeats in a hiss. ''I know she's my daughter and I know I've been acting like a coward. Don't you think I think about her all the time? Don't you think I worry about her every second of every day? Because I do.''_

_''Dean,'' she struggles and squirms in his grasp, ''let go of me.''_

_''I thought she would be better off with you,'' he goes on, ignoring her struggles. ''I thought she would have a better life with you and your parents.'' He lets go of her suddenly and has to distance himself from her, trying with all his might to get the words out around his clogged throat. ''Especially you,'' he admits. ''I-I mean, look at you. Look at you.'' He gestures vaguely towards her and tries to pretend that his blurred vision means nothing. He's just tired. That's all. ''You-You're just a kid and you're still better at this than I could ever be.''_

_''I'm a year younger than you, dipstick,'' she says dryly. ''It's not like I'm still drawing outside the lines. I can legally drive and everything.''_

_''You're more responsible than I am, Ruby,'' he says. ''You're more...You've got your shit together. But me...There's still shit everywhere with me!''_

_''Okay, I'm very uncomfortable with your phrasing.''_

_''And there's a big chance I'll never get my shit together,'' he goes on, ignoring her quip. ''And she deserves so much better than that. She deserves everything.'' His throat closes up, his vision blurs, and his hands begin to tremble. Every night when he goes to sleep, he sees her. He sees her lying in her crib in the hospital nursery, and he can tell you exactly how many times she opened and closed her little right fist that night, and how many times she kicked her legs. He can tell you her name and what the blanket wrapped around her looked like and he can tell you what her cries sounded like when he burst into the emergency room that frigid February night with Beth bleeding to death in his arms and Ruby running after him with the crying baby in her arms. But he can't tell you what color her eyes are. He can't tell you what her laugh sounds like or what her smile looks like, couldn't tell you if she's crawling or walking, or even talking. Hell, he couldn't even tell you if she's happy. And that kills him._

_These are the things he should know, for Christ's sake. He should be able to picture his own daughter's smile, but he can't. All because he listened to his father. Unable to look at Ruby and the look in her eyes, Dean turns away from her and wrenches open the driver's side door of the Impala. ''I shouldn't have come here. I...I gotta go,'' he mutters, trying to clear his throat._

_''Dean, wait.'' She grabs his arm, fingers digging into his skin in an attempt to get him to stay. Ah, well, there's one thing about her that hasn't changed. Her fingers are still as bony as ever. Nice to know. He turns to look at her, sucking in a breath. She looks like she so badly wants to say something else, but all she ends up saying is, ''Don't forget your jacket.'' It's only when he's in the car and just getting ready to fire up the engine, fully prepared to run away again, that she speaks up. ''Dean!''_

_She's biting her lip when he looks over at her, and then she glances over her shoulder towards the house. ''There's a park.'' She stops to take a deep breath as if she can't quite decide whether or not she's doing the right thing here. ''It's about three blocks away. You can't miss it. Meet me there in about an hour and a half.''_

_''Why?''_

_''Because I'm going to re-introduce you to your daughter.''_

_He breathes in deeply. ''Ruby...''_

_''Don't argue with me,'' she warns. ''Look, we may not get along but like it or not, we're both in this. We both know what we did that night. Now we have to live with it.''_

_He gulps._

_''If you're worried about my dad, don't be,'' she sighs. ''My mom will calm him down. You and me, Dean,'' she leans against the window of his car. ''This is it. I'm not ever going to abandon that little girl. Are you?''_

.

**Present Day**

**October, 2007**

''For the billionth time, Ruby, I don't think this is a good idea.'' Even though he can't see her face he can just tell she's gritting her teeth and rolling her eyes as she moves around the kitchen, cleaning up the lunch dishes. He can practically hear her teeth grinding together.

''It's just a dance class,'' she says flippantly, accepting the plate Dean hands her without looking him in the eye.

''Yes,'' he agrees patiently. ''But it's a dance class while there's a ghost on the loose. It's an unnecessary risk.''

''The ghost,'' she argues, running the plate under the tap before loading it into the dishwasher. ''Is at our house.'' She presses start and grabs a nearby dishtowel to wipe her hands on while she turns to lean back against the counter. ''It's not here and it's certainly not at Miss Daisy's dance studio.''

''We don't know that,'' he protests.

''Piper wants to go, Dean.''

''Yeah, and she also wants to marry Justin Timberlake. Are you going to let her run off and marry JT?''

''Sure, if he buys me a ghost free house with a pool in Hawaii first.''

Dean clenches his jaw and narrows his eyes. She sneers, eyes twinkling darkly in that infinitely mocking way. ''That's not funny,'' he says, and his lips twist up for a fraction of a second.

''Look,'' she drops the dishtowel back on the counter and shrugs one shoulder. ''Her dance stuff was already in the car and it's not like she's going to want to spend all day with her dad. No offense, but she finds you extremely embarrassing.''

Choosing to ignore her latter comment, Dean rubs at his forehead and tries not to grunt in frustration. ''Ruby, I would just feel better if I could keep an eye on her. Why are you being so difficult?'' He stops, smirks, and gives her a critical onceover. ''Right. Stupid question.''

Ruby cranes her neck to look into the living room where Piper is conversing enthusiastically with her grandfather. When she is satisfied that the girl cannot hear her, she grabs Dean's shirt and yanks him closer to her. ''Listen up, Winchester,'' she snarls into his ear, ''that little girl in there is miserable. She's terrified, she's wearing yesterday's underwear, and she's cooped up in a house with her grandfather, her dorky dad, and her uncle who she barely knows. If going to a stupid dance class for an hour makes her feel better, even for a little while, then I'm going to let her go. Do you understand me?''

Dean looks down at her stonily, meets her eyes, and then a grin stretches across his face. ''Oh, Ruby. I love it when you get bossy.'' To put emphasis on just how much he loves it, he reaches around her and slaps her on the behind.

''Ugh.'' She grimaces in disgust and shoves him away from her hard enough to send him stumbling back into the counter. She strides past him, but retraces her steps at the last minute and grabs his hand, dragging him along behind her into the living room. Dean's reflex is to dig his heels into the ground and stay right where he is, because Joey is in there and Joey's utterly terrifying, but he merely groans and stumbles along after her. She's not the sweetest cookie in the box, but he has a very hard time saying no to her. He thinks it might be some sort of sickness.

''Piper.'' At the sound of her aunt's voice, the girl in question looks up from the photo album her grandfather is showing her with an expectant smile. ''Your dad's going to take you to dance class, is that okay?''

Piper's smile turns into a wince, she eyes her father dubiously, and eventually she nods. After a very long moment of contemplation. Ouch. ''We-e-ll... Okay, but only if we can take your car.''

Ruby bobs her head up and down, speaking over Dean's protests. ''Sure thing, honey.''

''What's wrong with my car?'' He sputters out defensively.

That was a rhetorical question, by the way. He really wasn't expecting Piper to jump to her feet and rattle off a long list of things she finds wrong with his baby. ''It's old,'' she starts, marking it off as number one on her fingers. ''It's dirty, it's too big, - it's massive! It's like a boat! - it's _loud, _there's no CD player so I wouldn't be able to play Taylor Swift - '' Dean turns horrified eyes to Ruby, who grins up at him innocently. '' - You _always_ have the windows rolled down, even in the winter - ''

''Yeah, what's up with that?'' Ruby pipes up. ''Aren't you afraid of pneumonia?''

'' - It's loud, and - _and_ - it smells like _boy_.''

''Oh,'' Ruby laughs lightly. ''She's got you there. It does smell like boy.''

''Fine,'' Dean sighs. ''We'll take your aunt's soccer mom minivan.''

''It's a jeep,'' Piper says, hand on her hip.

''Same difference.''

''Really not.''

''Great!'' Ruby beams and claps her hands together. ''Then everybody wins! Piper gets to go to her dance class, Dean gets to go into overprotective dad mode, and I get an afternoon free from them and their whining - ''

''Hey!'' Is both Dean and Piper's dual protest.

''Not to mention,'' Ruby adds. ''I don't have to deal with all of those harpies - aka soccer moms - who all hate my guts.''

''Get out of town!'' Dean booms. ''You mean there are actually other people who don't find your sunny disposition charming?'' He gasps in mock shock, clapping both hands to his cheeks. ''Say it ain't so.''

Joey looks up from the photo album he's engrossed in, sets his mouth in a hard line, and looks straight at Dean with a raised eyebrow.

Instantly, Dean's smirk drops. He clears his throat awkwardly, gaze falling to the ground as he shuffles from foot to foot nervously.

Sam, busy combing through the history of Ruby's house for clues, looks up long enough to smirk and throw Joey an impressed look. ''You're my new hero,'' he declares.

Dean scowls at him.

Piper, still looking hesitant about this new plan, slides off the arm of Joey's chair and stands. ''I'll go get changed.'' Still staring up at her father suspiciously as if he's about to do something embarrassing like burst into song and dance, she edges around him and then sprints up the stairs.

''Man,'' Sam speaks up. ''What'd you to do the poor kid? She acts like you regularly show up at her classroom and make stupid faces while simultaneously wearing a sandwich board that says _I'm Piper's dad_.''

''Oh, she's just like her mother,'' Joey says, standing to put the photo album away. ''Beth hit the double digits and suddenly everything I said or did got a ''Dad, you're embarrassing me!'' Ruby, on the other hand,'' he throws a smile over his shoulder towards his youngest. ''Was only ever embarrassed by the things Beth did.''

''Yeah, well, Beth did some pretty questionable things,'' she says curtly.

Joey eyes Dean, distaste clearly evident in his eyes. ''Case in point.''

There's a moment of silence and then Ruby half smiles weakly and tugs at her right earlobe, which Dean knows she does when she's nervous. ''Y-Yeah.'' She laughs unconvincingly and then covers it with a cough. ''I...'' She clears her throat, crossing her arms and rocking back and forth on her heels nervously. ''I still don't know what she ever saw in him.''

''Really?'' Dean smirks when Joey's back is turned. ''You don't?''

Eyes narrowing in warning, Ruby stomps on his foot. When he grunts in pain and Joey turns back around, Ruby's eyes widen and she turns on her heel. ''I'm going to go see if Piper needs any help putting her hair up.''

Left alone with Joey and Sam, Dean can't help but let out a small chuckle. Joey's stopped paying attention to him, but Sam's eyes are focused. Dean can't quite manage to look him in the eye.

.

Dean can handle driving Ruby's shiny silver _Mom Car._ He won't like it, but he can deal with it. He can take it with a grain of salt. At least it's not a minivan, right? The jeep is nothing. It's the CDs littered inside of the car that he's not so sure he can handle. Ruby's an annoyingly focused and steady driver. She doesn't much care what's on the radio when she's driving. When she's in the passenger seat, she'll fiddle with the knob on the radio until it falls off and she'll search through a million cassette tapes or CDs until she finds one that suits her fancy. But when she's in the driver's seat, she's all about the road ahead of her. She couldn't care less about the music choice. Which, unfortunately, gives Piper free reign.

...It's bad, man. It's real bad.

Leaning back against the side of the jeep, Dean searches through Piper's stack of about a gazillion CDs, horror growing stronger as he digs farther into the depths of music hell. ''Ruby,'' he calls over his shoulder. ''How the hell do you justify this? How can you buy her this shit? This is just - It's a crime, that's what it is. It's - '' The front door opens and Piper skips out the door in her little pink dance outfit, bag thrown over her shoulder. Dean tosses the CDs back into the car and stands straight with a big smile. ''Hey, baby!'' He greets enthusiastically. ''You ready to go?''

Piper stops in her tracks to send him a look. ''Rule number one,'' she holds up one finger, looking at him seriously. ''Don't call me baby when we're out in public. _Especially_ not in front of boys.''

Dean sends a panicked look towards Ruby. ''We're at the boy stage?''

Ruby nods. ''Afraid so.''

''I am _not _okay with that.''

Piper sighs loudly and rolls her eyes up to the heavens. ''God, Dad.''

He holds his hands up in surrender. ''Sorry,'' he apologizes. ''Don't call you baby in public,'' he repeats. ''Got it, boss.'' And then he gives her a mock salute.

Piper rolls her eyes again. She glances at Sam out of the corner of her eye, and when she catches him staring at her, she frowns at him. ''What?''

''You look like a giant piece of cotton candy,'' he marvels.

She stares back at him, juts her chin out and in a very Dean-like tone of voice, says, ''You look like a tree.''

Sam opens his mouth but no words come out. Dean tilts his head back to the sun and laughs.

''Okay, ballerina.'' Ruby pulls Piper to her by the strap of her bag. ''You have fun. Listen to your dad. And try not to torture him.'' She places both hands on the girl's cheeks and leans down to kiss her forehead. ''At least not too much,'' she adds.

Dean rolls his eyes. ''Thanks.''

Grinning, Piper skips over to the jeep and starts to open the passenger side door only to stop in her tracks when her aunt whistles sharply. Oh, so close. ''Backseat, midget,'' Ruby calls.

Piper stomps her foot childishly in the perfect impression of her mother. ''But why?''

''Airbags,'' Dean comments. ''You're about the same weight as a very small dog. A gust of wind could knock you down. Those airbags could smother you to death.''

''Then don't crash,'' Piper monotones.

''Shut your face with all that logic.''

''Piper, just get in the back seat,'' Ruby bursts out. ''You haven't even left the house yet and already you're being difficult. Why is this always a thing with you? _Honestly. _You either get in the backseat or you stay home.''

Muttering darkly under her breath, Piper sends one last longing look towards the front seat and then seems to decide that the coveted front seat isn't worth crossing her aunt for. With a loud, long suffering sigh, she wrenches open the door and climbs into the backseat, huffing before she slams the door behind her.

''Well.'' Sam slides off the trunk of the Impala and holds his hand out expectantly to Dean. ''You're off to a magnificent start, Dad. Keys please.''

Reluctantly, Dean sluggishly pulls the keys to his car out of his pocket and deposits them into Sam's open palm with an extremely noticeable pained grimace. ''Don't - ''

''Get used to it. Yeah, yeah, I got it. Have fun,'' Sam chirps, patting Dean on the shoulder before turning on his heel, tossing his car keys up in the air and whistling jovially.

''Hey.'' Dean reaches out and grasps Ruby's elbow when she tries to move past him, spinning her around and sending her falling right into his chest. ''Be careful, all right? I don't like you going back to that house as it is. Don't get yourself killed.''

''Oh.'' She frowns innocently. ''You mean don't do stupid and reckless things?''

''Exactly.''

''You mean don't act like a Winchester?''

''...You're a bully.''

''Dean.'' She puts her hands on his shoulders, fingers digging into him, locking eyes with him. ''Quit stalling and take your daughter to her dance class.''

He groans, looking over his shoulder towards Piper, who is excitedly leaning forwards, pushing a CD into the CD player. Oh, the _dread_. ''None of the parents like me.''

''Imagine that. Look, don't stress about the parents. April Charleson will be there. You like April.''

''What if I do something,'' he curls his fingers into air quotes, ''embarrassing and she yells at me?''

''Then take it like a man and move on,'' she says slowly. ''God, are _you _twelve? Get in the car.''

''But...Taylor Swift...'' Still whining pitifully, he allows Ruby to push him over to the driver's side of the car. ''Taylor Swift, Ruby!''

''Actually,'' Piper says stiffly from the backseat. ''This is Avril Lavigne.''

Resigning himself to his torturous fate, Dean watches helplessly as Ruby throws a smirk over her shoulder and walks away. With one last sigh, he turns the ignition and tries to tune out the sound of Avril Lavigne. ''Okay,'' he bobs his head up and down, backing the car out of the driveway slowly. ''How is that different?''

Piper's jaw drops open and she stares at him incredulously. ''They're...two different people, Dad.''

''Right. ...Are you sure about that? 'Cause they sound remarkably similar.''

''Um...yeah... Pretty sure.''

Dean shrugs. ''Well, whatever.'' Crawling slowly down the residential road, he tries to inconspicuously turn the music down to an acceptable volume (which, to him, would be off, but he's not so sure he'd be able to get away with that).

Piper, of course, notices almost immediately, yelping out a frustrated and offended sounding, ''Hey!''

''Eardrums are awesome things, Pipes, but they're fragile.''

She rolls her eyes. How many times a day does that girl roll her eyes? She must get killer headaches. She turns her head to look out the back window and when she catches sight of her father's car exiting the driveway and turning the other way, she stiffens, mouth creasing in worry. ''Where's Uncle Sam going?''

''He's - Did you just say Uncle Sam?''

A slow grin stretches across his lips. ''Yeah. He likes it.''

A laugh bubbles up in Dean's throat and he shakes his head. ''He's going to take your aunt to get some fresh clothes and things from your house.''

Piper's smile fades and her eyes grow wide and horrified. ''W-What? They're going back there? But what about the...?''

''They know what they're doing, baby.''

''But what if - ''

''Piper, your aunt can snap both of us in half if she wants to and your uncle is a dinosaur. I think they can handle one little ghost if they need to.''

''Don't say that! You'll jinx them!''

''It's broad daylight, Piper.''

''It was broad daylight when the windows blew up,'' she points out.

''Actually, it was sunset.''

''Does that make a difference?''

He doesn't answer, hands tightening around the steering wheel. ''They'll be careful,'' he promises her. ''Now listen to your music.'' He turns the volume up again and swallows his wince at the sound of the squawking coming from the stereo. He glances in the rearview mirror and sighs when he sees the way her teeth have sunk into her lower lip, fingers clasped nervously. She looks so much like her mother when she does that.

Dean swallows, focuses on the road, and doesn't notice the silver chain Piper pulls out from underneath her shirt.

.

Before the jeep even comes to a full stop, Piper's unbuckling her seatbelt and reaching for the door handle. She's got a big grin on her face and her olive eyes are glistening with excitement. Dean may not ever be able to understand why _ballet _gets this reaction from her, but if he gets to see that smile on her face, he's willing to sit through million tedious dance rehearsals. As soon as the car is off, she jumps out of the car and slams her door, throwing her ballet bag over her shoulder. She's already skipping across the parking lot by the time he exits the car. ''Piper, watch for cars!'' He warns.

''I am!'' She turns her head just long enough to stick her nose up in the air as if to say _duh._

Dean pockets the keys, casts a distracted look around the parking lot, and then has to do a double take, whirling around to stare at the trees lining the parking lot. He could have sworn he saw a woman standing in the shadows. It was just for a split second, but he really thought he saw... At last, he shrugs it off and decides he is perhaps just a little too paranoid sometimes. Deducing that the dread filling his stomach is simply because of what lies ahead of him inside that door, he races after his daughter. He catches up to her easily and swings her up into his arms. She shrieks and tries too hard to look embarrassed, winding up shrieking in laughter instead as he throws her over his shoulder and sprints towards the big, old looking building with a sign that reads in curly, loopy handwriting _Miss Daisy's Dance Studio._

Across the parking lot, seated on the grass, black nightgown pooled around her, a much too pale teen stands seething in the shadows. After she tears her eyes away from Dean's retreating form, her angry eyes slip upwards towards the window looking into the vast dance studio. A grim smile falls easily across her lips and she rises to her feet gracefully, turning and disappearing into nothing.

.

Dean reaches the top of the spiral staircase with Piper thrown over his shoulder, her high pitched giggle echoing throughout the cavernous stairwell. ''Daddy!'' She hiccups out through her laughter. ''Daddy...you can put me down now!''

Eyes bright, shoulders feeling lighter than they have in ages, he sets her upright on the ground, ruffling her hair. She makes a slightly annoyed noise in the back of her throat and arches a single eyebrow at him, smoothing her hair down with care. Flushed from laughing so hard, she offers him one last genuine smile, just like the ones she used to give him all the time, back when she used to adore him, before she turned ten and all of the sudden he became a great source of embarrassment to her.

''Okay,'' she tugs on his hand and he leans down to let her peck his cheek. ''Thanks, Dad. See you in an hour. Bye!'' She gives him another cheery smile and a little wave before she turns to pull open the door.

''Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.'' He catches the door before she can close it and steps into the bright sunlit room with the white walls and the high ceilings. ''Aren't parents allowed to stay and watch?'' He eyes the little girls skidding across the hardwood floors and stretching their little legs, all stuffed into frilly pink tutus. He flicks his gaze to the bench along the wall where at least four mothers are congregating, some with cheesy novels cracked open, others with their cameras at the ready, one the perfect definition of the term stage mom. There's even another dad sitting at the opposite end of the bench, legs sprawled out in front of him, fast asleep.

Piper whirls around when she hears the question, face frozen in what can only be described as pure, unadulterated horror. ''You...You don't have to do that,'' she stammers out.

''But what if I want to?'' He challenges, crossing his arms.

''You don't have to.''

''But what if I - ''

''You don't have to, Dad!'' Her voice comes out loud and hysterical and it echoes loudly in the open space. The sleeping father jerks awake with a snort and everyone stops what they're doing to look at Piper. Well, she certainly knows how to draw attention to herself. She must get that from her mother too. She covers her face with a groan.

Dean smirks. ''You are your own worst enemy, little bit.''

She scowls at him and drops her bag down on the floor. ''You need to go now,'' she demands, plopping ungracefully onto the shiny floor as she yanks out her ballet shoes and her own tutu.

''But why?'' He asks. ''I want to stay and see you do one of these.'' In a very conscious effort to embarrass her, he puts his hands up in a point and twirls in a circle, stumbling only slightly.

Piper glowers, cheeks flushing red. ''I think you just did the little tea pot.''

''Piper!''

Dean lifts his gaze as a woman in a black leotard and comes gliding across the floor towards them. She has gray hair pulled up in a bun and her earrings glint in the sunlight. Her pink lips are curved upwards into a megawatt smile, but her eyes are slightly darker, glistening with something he can't quite put his finger on. (Oh! It's _lust._) And she's leering at Dean like he's Michelangelo's David. There is something deeply unsettling about how gracefully she moves. She almost seems to float across the floor without ever touching the ground. Like a cat.

Piper raises her hand in a wave, smiling politely as she slides into her ballet slippers. ''Hi, Miss. Daisy.''

''No Aunt Ruby today?'' The woman's voice is also a little disconcerting. It's like velvet. Words just seem to roll off her tongue. She clasps her hands together and her many rings and many, many bracelets jingle noisily. She reminds Dean a little bit of a gypsy.

Piper shakes her head. ''Not today.''

Miss. Daisy clicks her tongue. ''That's too bad. Tell her hello for me, won't you, darling?''

''Sure thing, Miss. Daisy.''

''And,'' the woman shifts her attention to Dean, eyes sparkling as she floats her way over to him, lithe fingers grasping at his arm. ''Who is this tall drink of water?''

''I don't know what that expression means, but this is my dad,'' Piper introduces, standing to step into her tutu.

''Dean,'' he adds on helpfully.

''Well,_ Dean_,'' Miss. Daisy takes his outstretched hand with a grin. ''It's a pleasure. You have lovely arms.''

''...Thank you?''

''Believe me, dear, that was a compliment. Piper,'' Miss. Daisy turns to look at the sheepish preteen with one leg in her tutu, the other in the air. ''We do not step into our tutus,'' she warns. ''Tutus are like fragile couture dresses. They go over the head.''

''Sorry, Miss. Daisy.''

''It was nice meeting you, Piper's dad, Dean,'' Miss. Daisy drawls smoothly. ''I hope you won't be a stranger.''

''Well.'' He cocks his head to the side and lays the charm on thick, smirking down at Piper's very Kim Cattrall-like dance teacher. ''I would've been down here sooner if I had known my daughter's dance teacher was so gorgeous. How old are you? Twenty five? Twenty six?''

Horrified, Piper throws her hand over her face. ''Oh, _god,_'' she moans into her hand.

Miss. Daisy laughs a light and twinkly sounding laugh, swatting at his shoulder. ''Oh, I do hope I see you again, Dean.'' She pats his cheek as she begins to brush past him. ''This place needs a charmer like you. I'm afraid Scott,'' she glances over his shoulder towards the only other father in the room. ''Just doesn't cut it.'' She winks at him and then turns to sweep away majestically, leaving father and daughter staring after her.

''Heh,'' Dean chuckles. ''She kinda scares me.''

''Yeah, uh, that's great.'' Fitted in her tutu and her ballet slippers, ready to dance the hour away, Piper looks around for prying eyes and then tries to pull Dean towards the door. ''Can you please go now?''

''Why?'' He grins down at her. ''Are you afraid I'll do something embarrassing? Like this perhaps?'' He hooks his fingers into his mouth, pulls the corners of his mouth back and waggles his tongue at her.

Piper stares at him.

''Dean?''

Someone taps him on the shoulder and he whirls around, fingers still curled in his mouth. April Charleson stares up at him with raised eyebrows. ''Oh, now, that's attractive.''

He drops his hands, licking his lips. ''April,'' he greets. ''Hi.''

April Charleson is a pretty dark haired woman in her mid thirties with a gaggle of kids and a busy husband. She's the mother of Piper's best friend and she's one of the only ones who doesn't look down on him. She nods at him, beaming that blinding, eye crinkling smile of hers. ''Hi, Dean. Been awhile, hasn't it?''

''Almost a year now.''

''Yeah, what's that all about anyway? You don't call, you don't write. I know you were seeing Piper here regularly but...''

''Yeah. Sorry about that.'' He leans down to peck her cheek softly. ''Things got...Things got a little busy at work.'' To keep the pressure off and to keep April from asking anymore questions about his job, he switches the attention from him to the little girl at April's side, staring up at him with huge, blinking eyes. ''Hey, Karen. How've you been?''

Karen blinks at him, and then she dissolves into giggles, blushing profusely. ''H-Hey, Mr. W.''

''It's _Dean_, honey.''

She giggles again.

''So, what's new?'' Dean asks April, eyes falling to the baby in her arms.

''I had another baby,'' she deadpans.

''Yeah, I can see that. So what is this? Number eight?''

''Seven.''

''Geez, woman. What are you goin' for? A football team?''

April laughs. ''You've discovered my master plan.''

''Girls!'' Miss. Daisy claps her hands together a few times, looking around at the small sea of girls in tutus. ''Girls, gather around!''

''I guess I'd better go,'' Dean sighs. ''Piper doesn't want me to watch her dance. She's afraid I'll embarrass her. Hey,'' he tears his gaze away from Piper, swinging his eyes back to April. ''You've got some teenagers, right? Tell me, does this ''I'm embarrassed by everything my dad does'' thing ever go away?''

''Um,'' April laughs. ''No, not really.''

He shakes his head. ''Shame. I remember when she used to think I was a superhero.''

Throwing a distracted wave towards the girls, April loops her baby free arm through Dean's and starts to drag him towards the door. ''She still does,'' she assures him. ''She's just less vocal about it. Come on, walk me out.''

Reluctantly, he allows himself to be pulled away. Piper's safe here and staying isn't worth the epic bitch fit she will inevitable throw, foot stomping and Beth-like screeching included. Although, he does stop just outside the door, turn abruptly and stick his tongue out at his daughter. This endeavor earns him a slap on the shoulder from April and a glare and a stomped foot from Piper, who mouths something that looks suspiciously like ''get out of here, you freak!''

Laughing, April drags Dean away from the door. ''Move it, Mr. Magoo. Buy me a cup of coffee.''

.

Even after Karen's mom drags her dad away from the door, Piper remains staring, mouth agape, exasperation growing. Karen, on the other hand, is laughing her butt off beside her. Piper scowls and shakes it off, continuing with her stretching. Honestly. He does these stupid things on purpose, doesn't he? She loves her dad but he's, like, such a pest sometimes. Aunt Ruby says it's something in the Winchester genes. Piper licks her lips and tries to let go of the embarrassment caused by her father. What's that about anyway? Is there some kind of law that says you have to be the world's biggest dork if you're a parent?

She's not a _baby _anymore.

Determined to let it go, she draws in a deep breath and exhales slowly. Nobody really saw much anyway.

Effectively calmed down, she tunes back into the lesson and listens intently to what Miss. Daisy is saying. When she turns around, facing the door, she catches sight of a woman standing in the doorway and she gasps. Startled, she loses her balance and winds up falling back, landing hard on her behind, nearly taking Karen down with her. Over the sound of Karen's concerned voice and the other girl's nasty giggles, Piper focuses her gaze back on the door way, eyes wide.

Nobody's there.

It was only for a millisecond that she saw her there. Maybe not even. And it definitely doesn't make any sense. She must have been seeing things. It's the problems at her house. It's got her imagination on overdrive. It's just... The woman in the doorway... She almost looked like...

No. It can't be. That's crazy. She was just seeing things, that's all. She's perfectly safe here, and the ghost is confined to her house. Rising to her feet, Piper assures Karen and Miss. Daisy that she's fine. With a sharp intake of breath, she turns away from the door, swallows down the sudden urge to chase after her dad, and gets back to business.

She's twelve now. She's not a scaredy cat.

The show must go on.

* * *

><p><em>''Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a dad.''<br>_**- Anonymous**

* * *

><p><strong>end chapter three<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hm. I'm torn between picturing teen!Dean as Brock Kelly or Days of our Lives!Jensen. For that matter, I have no idea who I see as teen!Ruby either. I have a hard time picturing Ruby as anyone but Katie Cassidy. Oh! Days of Our Lives!Jensen and Katie back in her Jesse McCartney days.<strong>

**But you guys have other things to worry about. Like what's up with that ghost? What did Dean and Ruby DO ''that night''? Is something going to happen to Piper at her dance class?**

**Up Next:**

_Dean delivers bad news to Ruby._


	4. Remember me when I am gone away

_AN: Okay, now. Can I just say something here? __AND SPOILER WARNINGS FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T SEEN 7.03 'CAUSE I AM ABOUT TO RANT, PEOPLE. __To be perfectly honest with you guys, I was bitterly disappointed by Friday night's episode. Dean and I are having a bit of a disagreement because of his thickheaded stubbornness in the episode. I was left completely blindsided, shocked and appalled by Dean's behavior. I felt his actions were totally unnecessary and careless. And if Ruby were there she would have kicked his ass and he would have been sleeping on the couch for, like, ever. I am not kidding here. I'm actually a little surprised by my anger. Usually, if I'm pissed at Dean, it just blows over, but I am still really, really livid. On the plus side, I found the directing fabulous. That's not just me sucking up and kissing ass either. Some of the shots were really pretty. Also, I'm currently writing a Lila Bray 'verse version of season seven so 7.03 has provided me with some juicy emotional angst to plow through. It also gives me some nice leverage for a certain plot point in said story. But it is entirely possible - or so I have been told my my ''lovely'' brother - that I need to get a life and stop thinking so much about these things._

_In other news, I have now watched some of the Supernatural: Anime Series. It's...not for me. It's not bad or anything, it's just that anime shows in general kind of scare the bejeezus out of me._

_And last but not leat, to all you fellow Canadians, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Make sure and...you know...stuff your faces. I, for one, will be stuffing my face in about three hours._

_(Oh, and is anyone enjoying the Salute to Supernatural Convention in Toronto this weekened? Hope you're having a great time! I've heard Jensen smells great - no, seriously. I've been told he smells really good.)_

_Title of this chapter from the poem ''Remember'' by Christina Georgina Rossetti._

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

><p><strong>slower, slower<strong>

_Written by Becks Rylynn_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

_''Remember me when I am gone away''_

* * *

><p><em>''We're all mad here.''<br>_**- Lewis Carroll, **_**Alice in Wonderland**_

* * *

><p>A half hour before he has to go pick up Piper, Dean pulls Ruby's stupid mom car into the driveway of the Daniels' family home.<p>

This, you must understand, is a big mistake.

He regrets not driving right past the house the moment he turns into the driveway, which is unfortunately Impala free. Which means Ruby and Sam aren't back yet. Joey, however, is standing outside in the front yard, sending sidelong glances in Dean's direction as he dutifully waters his wife's tulips. Aw, fuck. Joey's going to shoot him and bury him in the backyard, isn't he? Dean cracks his knuckles anxiously before reluctantly killing the engine and stepping out of the car. He moves out from behind the jeep almost sluggishly with a trying smile on his face and a hand raised in a half wave. ''Hey, Joey. Victoria's flowers are lookin' nice this year.''

Joey gives him a flat look, glances at his wife's flowers, and then without warning, turns the garden hose on Dean. A startled yelp escapes Dean's lips as a steady stream of ice cold water assaults him, soaking through his clothes. Eventually, Joey turns off the hose and tosses it aside, same dry, unimpressed look on his face. Gasping and choking on the water that has sprayed into his mouth and up his nose, Dean frantically tries to wipe water off his face. ''Dude! What the hell!'' He shakes his arms, sending water spraying everywhere.

''I am not your dude,'' Joey snarls out bitterly. He strides forwards, finger jabbed in Dean's direction. ''Is it true?''

''Ugh,'' Dean grumbles, stripping off his wet and heavy jacket. ''Is what true?''

''Just because I'm not a hunter anymore, boy, that doesn't mean I don't have contacts,'' Joey warns. ''I have eyes on you, Dean. And I _know_. I know about what you did.''

Dean blanches. _Oh_. Oh, shit. ''I...I don't know what you're talking about,'' he stammers.

''You don't?'' Joey sneers, taking another step. ''All right then. Let me break it down for you. Today I got a phone call from a friend of mine who heard through the huntin' grapevine that you went all kamikaze and made yourself a deal with a demon. Now just tell me,'' he snaps, eyes ablaze with anger. ''Is it true?''

Dean swallows thickly. See, this is exactly what he was afraid would happen. It's not like he's an idiot. He knows he has to tell Piper and Ruby about his deal. He knows that. But he was really hoping he could put it off until the end of the trip. Then he could just blurt it out and run like the coward he has been told he is. ''Look,'' he sighs, trying to ignore the shivers starting because of the cold water sinking into his skin. ''I don't really want to talk about this right now, Joey.''

''How long did you get?'' Oh, now, if he didn't know any better, Dean would say the old man's worried about him. It's a crazy idea, really. Joey has made it perfectly clear that he is not a member of the Dean Winchester fan club. What more is there to say?

Dean would like to point out that he tries to answer. He opens his mouth to tell Joey everything, to make him understand, but his throat dries up and his tongue suddenly feels too thick and too wooly, so he closes his mouth and walks away instead. Still dripping wet, boots squishing grossly, Dean walks a determined path to the front door and tries to block out the sound of Joey yelling after him.

He makes it all the way upstairs and to the bathroom with a fresh change of clothes before he lets himself breathe. He looks at himself in the mirror, hands braced against the sink, and he carefully surveys his reflection in the mirror. It's not often that he likes what he sees in the mirror. Today is no different. Mostly what he sees right now is a deadbeat father who has six months left to live and hasn't even told his kid yet. Suddenly tired, he quickly looks away from his weary reflection and tries not to think about how Piper and Ruby will react to the news of his deal. Ruby will get angry, no doubt. But Piper...Piper will cry. He hates it when his little girl cries.

This isn't what he wanted for her. He never wanted her to feel what he felt growing up. She never knew her mother. All she has is Ruby and that's always been more than good enough. But she knows her dad. She knows her father and who he is and she's going to feel it when he dies.

You know, things would be so simple if he had just stayed gone all those years ago. If she never known him, if he hadn't been so damn selfish. Everything would have been fine for her. They would've been just fine. What's he really given her these past twelve and a half years anyway? What's he done for her?

He lets out a sigh and pushes a hand through his hair. It's almost November. He's only got a little over six months left and he still hasn't told them. All the times he's been here since he made his deal... Each and every time he would open his mouth, fully intending to drop the bomb, but then Piper would smile at him or laugh, and Ruby would look at him like he wasn't the bane of her existence, and each and every time without fail, he would chicken out. How is he supposed to tell them this? How is he supposed to tell them that in a mere six months he's going to be savagely ripped apart and dragged down to Hell? It's an impossible task.

When he has changed into dry clothes and has firmly avoided looking in the mirror, he hesitates and then swings open the door. Joey is waiting for him, leaning against the opposite wall, jaw clenched. ''Just tell me,'' he growls out. ''How long did you get?''

This time Dean has nowhere to run, so he squares his shoulders and decides to face the music instead. ''One year. ...It's more like six months now.''

Joey tenses, then looks away with a scoff of disgust. ''You Winchesters,'' he snaps. ''Such self sacrificial bastards. And you,'' his eyes darken. ''You're just like your daddy, you know that? Haven't you taken enough from me?''

''What exactly am I taking away from you this time, Joey?'' Dean fires back. ''Huh? You hate me.''

Joey narrows his eyes, looking positively lethal. ''And you don't think you dying is going to affect my granddaughter? My daughter? They both love you.''

Dean can't help but laugh at that. ''Ruby? Ruby loves me?''

''Oh, cut the bullshit,'' Joey says hotly. ''I know you're sleeping with her.''

''I am _not _sleeping with Ruby!''

''It's not nice to lie to old men.''

''Joey, I'm not ly - ''

Joey goes forwards, shoving Dean hard enough to send the younger man stumbling back into the wall. ''You better tell them quick, do you hear me, boy? You tell my daughter... You tell her or I will.''

''Tell me what?''

Dean feels his heart drop, whirling around to face the speaker. Ruby's standing at the top of the stairs, duffel bag thrown over her shoulder, Piper's pink and sparkly backpack in her hands, and she' staring at them both like she's trying her hardest to decipher what the emotions in their eyes mean.

''Sweetheart,'' Joey starts quietly, ''Dean has something he needs to tell you.'' To put emphasis on this, he sends a positively cutting look in Dean's direction.

Ruby sighs heavily. ''Awesome,'' she monotones. ''I'm sure it'll be real great news. Just let me put this stuff away. I'm sure it would be better if I didn't have large and heavy objects to hit you with.''

When she has disappeared into her old room, Dean falls back against the wall, covering his face with his hands. ''Well, thanks,'' he mutters out sarcastically. ''That's really great, Joey. How the fuck am I supposed to - ''

''You just _are,_'' Joey cuts him off with a pointed look. ''She has a right to know. They both do.''

Dean would like to argue with that, but he really can't. Slowly and hesitantly, dreading every second of what's to come, he sends one more look in Joey's direction and then follows after Ruby, slipping into her old childhood bedroom. The door clicks shut softly behind him and when he lifts his eyes, he feels like he's been transported back to the past. ''Wow,'' he lets out a somewhat nostalgic chuckle, surveying the bedroom. It's seriously like time has stood still in here. ''Let's do the time warp again.'' He eyes the old rock band posters on the wall and the teddy bear on the bed. Arching an eyebrow, he jerks his thumb towards the poster of Courtney Love on the wall. ''That right there? That's the scariest thing I've ever seen.''

''Fifteen year old me had some anger issues, yes.''

''...Yes, because twenty seven year old you is a regular cheerleader,'' he mutters under his breath.

She throws a look over her shoulder. ''What?''

''Nothing.'' He ducks his head to hide a smile. He turns, eyes scanning the pictures taped to the mirror. Carefully, he plucks one of Beth and Ruby off the mirror and studies Beth's young face, big smile covering her lips. Sometimes he forgets how beautiful she was. Beth really was a gorgeous girl. His eyes shift upwards, landing on Ruby. She used to always say that compared to Beth, she was nothing special. And maybe she didn't have the perfect skin that Beth had or shiny, supermodel hair, maybe she did have braces for awhile and glasses for longer, but her eyes have _always_ sparkled in a way Beth's never could. He looks away from Ruby quickly, clearing his throat and turning around, attention back on the picture in his hand.

''You should see Beth's room,'' Ruby says softly, reaching around him to take the picture from his hand. She looks at the photograph for a second, small smile tugging at her lips, and then she swallows and places it back on the mirror. ''It's even scarier. Nothing's changed. Nobody's touched it. The only thing Mom and Dad ever did after she died was change the sheets.''

He grimaces briefly, trying not to remember all that gore. Childbirth is a messy thing and, as he had learned twelve years ago, it was not meant to happen on the pristine (and quite expensive) white sheets Beth had made her mother buy her.

''You go in there and suddenly you're back in the nineties,'' Ruby continues quietly, turning away from him. ''It's like you expect her to skip through the door in her cheerleading uniform or see her pretending to do her homework or doing her make up.'' She takes a seat on the squeaky bed, eyes bright, sad smile gracing her lips.

''Hey,'' he says suddenly, mostly to break the silence. ''Do you remember...'' He takes a seat next to her. ''...Do you remember that night when your parents were supposed to be working late, but they came home early so - ''

''Beth made you climb out of my window,'' she laughs a full on eye crinkling, head tossing laugh, throwing one leg over the other. ''Because nobody would ever believe _we_ were doing anything.''

Dean can't help but laugh at the memory of awkwardly trying to simultaneously climb down the side of the house and maintain his badass image, which seemed like it was of dire importance back then. ''I seriously though you were going to push me out the window.''

''I did think about it,'' she admits. ''You were totally _shameless._''

''Oh, and Beth wasn't?'' He challenges lightly. ''Ruby, she tried to get me to have sex in your parents' bed once.''

''What? Oh my god, why?''

''She said she wanted to spice things up.''

She laughs again, hand thrown over her face. ''Yeah, well, Beth...'' Sobering, she shakes her head fondly, eyes staring straight ahead of her like she's trying to see back into the past. ''She was one of a kind.''

''She certainly was,'' he nods. ''That, uh,'' he sideways eyes her, ''that seems to be a theme with you Daniels girls.''

She's still smiling when she looks at him, genuine and softer than usual. He's not one for all of that sentimental shit, but he does enjoy it when he and Ruby get along. There's a certain level of peace to it that feels comfortable. ''Was that a compliment?'' She asks, nudging his shoulder. ''Directed towards me?''

''It was tossed in your general direction,'' he says flatly.

She looks at him closely for a second in that distinctly Ruby way and then she rises to her feet, gliding away from him. He shakes himself out of whatever nostalgia laced mood he had been in and licks his lips. Moment over. ''You said you had something to tell me,'' she prompts, turning around to face him, arms crossed. ''What is it? I can already tell by the look on your face that it's bad news so you should just get it over with. You're not going to miss her birthday again this year, are you?''

''No,'' he stands. ''Definitely not. Not this year. I just...'' He trails off and tries to formulate a way to break this gently. It's not working out so well for him. Gently may be out of the question when it comes to this. ''You're going to hate me,'' he blurts out.

She stiffens, lips pressing together impatiently. ''For what?''

''I'm...'' And he doesn't know how else to say it so she just says it, the words pouring out of him before he can stop himself. ''I'm dying.''

She goes rigid. He swears he sees real devastation and terror flash through her eyes for a split second, but quickly decides it's probably just a mixture of shock and anger. ''...What?''

''A few months ago Sam...'' Dean takes a deep breath and tries not to remember the feel of Sam's pale, gray skin under his fingertips. ''...He sort of...died a little bit...and to get him back, I had to make a deal with the crossroads demon. She gave me a year to live.'' He stops and waits for her to say something, but she remains silent, eyes blank and emotionless. ''The deal,'' he continues reluctantly. ''It's up in May so...so that means - ''

''You have six months to live,'' she finishes for him.

''I...'' He cracks his knuckles nervously and then clenches his fists because he has suddenly been struck with the inexplicable need to touch her and he knows he can't do that. ''...Yes.''

She nods slowly like she's absorbing the information, dropping her gaze to the ground. But when she still doesn't say anything, he gets desperate, taking a step towards her. Even if she's just going to yell at him he needs her to say something. ''Ruby,'' he pleads. ''Aren't you -_ fuck_, just... Say something.''

She lifts her eyes to him and he realizes too late the consequences of stepping too close to her. She's actually quite calm when it happens. She just looks at him, curls her hand into a fist, and punches him in the face. He staggers backwards. She walks away. He wonders why he ever expected anything less from her. There's a ringing in his ears as he brings a hand up to his face, and spots dance behind his eyes like mocking little sparkling stars that tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he is an idiot. For a second, he actually thinks she might have broken his jaw. Blinking frantically to clear his vision, he rubs his sore (but thankfully not broken) jaw and tries to shake it off. That was not an altogether terrible reaction. Painful, yes. But it easily could have been much worse. At least she didn't kick him in the family jewels, right? That would've been worse. Letting out a grunt if both pain and frustration, he works his jaw and then chases after her. Hell, if this thing's started, he's not gonna let it end until everything is resolved and _fixed._

He bounds down the stairs, catching sight of her just as she disappears into the kitchen. Ruby may seem like a major hard ass, but she's far more breakable than she'd like to admit. If she starts to feel any emotional vulnerability whatsoever, she goes into cleaning mode. It's a nervous habit she picked up from her mother. After watching her mother clean during times of emotional distress, something in her brain began to tell her that it was completely normal behavior. It's just the way her brain has managed to rewire itself. Dean kind of prefers to get drunk, punch walls, and chop the heads off monsters when he's upset, but hey - cleaning works too. He halts in his tracks right by the kitchen door, suddenly alarmed by how far he can manage to see into Ruby's psyche.

What's that supposed to mean?

He waves it off and quietly enters the room. Sure enough, she is bent over the counter, frantically scrubbing at the already clean Formica. ''Ruby...''

''Don't talk to me,'' she warns.

''Ruby, I'm sorry.''

''I said don't talk to me.'' Her voice trembles, but he can't be sure if it's with sorrow or rage. He swallows and remains rooted to the spot. When he moves closer to her, she drops the rag in her hand and turns away from him, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth.

''I had to do it,'' he says, feeling strangely calm. ''Ruby, I had to do it for Sam.''

''For Sam,'' she echoes, chuckling bitterly, bracing herself against the sink. ''Yes, because I'm sure this is exactly what Sam wants, huh? You dying for him? You know,'' she turns her head slightly. ''You always do this.'' She spins around, leaning back against the sink with her arms folded over her chest. He really hates the way she's looking at him right now. It's the same look she gives Piper when she's _not angry, just disappointed._ Jesus Christ, no wonder the kid always folds like a wet paper napkin under this look. It's like fucking mental torture. ''Always,'' she goes on quietly, an undoubtedly hostile smirk flickering across her lips. ''I don't even know why it still surprises me.''

''What the fuck is that supposed to mean?'' He snaps out defensively.

''It means you're a selfish bastard and I'm done expecting you to be anything but.'' The words hit him like a physical blow, hitting hard and way below the belt. She pushes off the sink, glaring at him with her angry and glistening eyes as she steps towards him. ''You're always doing this,'' she tells him, ''and I've waited for it to stop, and I've waited for you to grow up, and I've waited for you to...'' She trails off, lowering her eyes. ''But this is it, Dean. It's over. I can't wait for you anymore, and Piper shouldn't have to. You're...You're always out there doing all of this reckless kamikaze shit and it's...it's like you forget you have a little girl at home who needs you. And it's not fair. And I'm done. If you want to die so badly, you can just...you can go die. I don't need you anymore.''

Every word she spits out at him like nails pricks him like a needle and when she finishes, starting to brush past him, he has to look down at his wrists to make sure he isn't bleeding. He thinks about letting her little fit slide. Of course she's going to be upset and pissed. Of course she's going to whip out the insults that cut the deepest, that's what she does. But he doesn't have the greatest self control, so when she brushes by him, he reaches out, locks a hand around her wrist and spins her back to him. When she struggles, he only grasps onto her other wrist, staring down at her like she's nothing. ''You think you're better than me?'' He hisses out. He leans closer to her. She leans away. He tightens his grip on her wrist. ''Remember Beth, Ruby? Do you? Do you remember what you tried to do after she died? How you tried so hard to bring her back? How you would've willingly sold your soul to witchcraft if I hadn't stopped you?'' He yanks her into his body roughly and his nails dig into her skin. ''You and me, sweetheart, we're the same. Do not, for one second, pretend that you're better than me because you're not.''

Her eyes bore into him and she wriggles free of his vice like grip, stepping away from him. ''You ever grab me like that again,'' she advises lowly, sounding slightly breathless, ''and I'm gonna break your arm. You got me?'' She spins on her heel without waiting for an answer, storming out of the kitchen looking pale and agitated.

Once she's gone, he swallows in a giant gulp of air, attempting to regain a steady breathing pattern. He scrubs a hand over his face and turns away from the door, leaning his arms on the counter and dropping his head into his hands. What is it about that woman? How is it possible for someone to make him feel so peaceful and content one minute and so unbelievably low the next? What kind of sorcery is that? How does she do it?

Truth is Ruby's always been like this. Ever since the first time he met her, she's been something of a stabilizer. She gives him the illusion of a happy normal life with a daughter and a place to rest his head and she kicks his ass when it needs to be kicked. But on the flip side, she has the power to tear him down like no one else, ripping him up into pieces that can't be fixed. She has the ability to reduce him into nothing but a pile of ash on the ground. And the thing about Ruby, the thing that never changes, no matter what, come hell or high water, is that he is completely and forever stuck with her.

...At least for another six months.

''Dean.''

He looks up, clearing his throat quietly.

Sam raises his eyebrows in question. ''Hey, man,'' he says hesitantly. ''You, uh... You okay?''

Dean waves it off. ''Fine. I just need to talk to Ruby.''

''Whoa.'' Sam steps in front of the door to block his brother, holding his hands up. ''Dean, maybe now's not the best time.''

''Look, I'm not gonna die with her hating me, all right? Now move.''

''I'm just saying...maybe you should give her a few minutes to cool off.''

Dean scoffs. ''Ruby doesn't cool of, Sam. She gets angrier and then she gets physical.''

''Her dad's in there with her now,'' Sam says. ''Just give him a few minutes to - ''

''Oh yeah,'' Dean sneers. ''Because I'm sure Joey's in there talking me up as we speak, right? Step aside, little brother.''

''Dean - ''

''Move or I move you. Your choice.''

Sam stares at him and then his shoulders slump in defeat. ''Fine,'' he sighs, shaking his head. Somewhat reluctantly, he steps aside. ''Just let me ask you one question,'' he adds on softly.

Dean stops with his hand on the door, flinging a look towards his brother. Oh, please don't let him ask about -

''You and Ruby... Are you two...? You're not...?''

Fuck.

Dean gnaws on his lower lip. With a tired laugh, he shakes his head and looks away from Sam's eyes. ''That's a random question.''

''That's not an answer,'' Sam points out.

Dean pushes through the door without answering the question. In the living room, Ruby is sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. Her father is sitting next to her, talking to her quietly and rubbing her back. (Sometimes, on the bad days or the lonely nights, Dean will sit and he will wonder if Ruby knows how lucky she is to have a father like Joey Daniels.) ''Ruby,'' he practically whispers her name out, shuffling from foot to foot.

She looks up at him with dull eyes, body slumped in exhaustion. ''What?'' She murmurs. ''What more could you possibly have to say to me?''

He closes his eyes briefly, sucking in a breath. ''We need to talk about - ''

''Talk about what?'' She interjects. ''What else is there to say, Dean? You said it all. You're an idiot and in six months, you're going to die. What more can you say?''

''...Y-You're going to die?''

The air seems to almost visibly thicken and Dean suddenly finds that he can't seem to make air reach his lungs.

''Oh, god,'' he hears Ruby whisper weakly. ''Oh my god...Piper...''

Everything gets very quiet all of a sudden as Dean slowly turns around to face his daughter. Sam's standing in the doorway to the kitchen, wincing and looking at the ground like he can't look Piper in the eye. Joey's got his eyes closed, one hand massaging his forehead. Ruby's on her feet, one hand over her mouth, the other wrapped around her stomach. And Dean is stuck staring into his daughter's green eyes - the only physical attribute she inherited from him - watching as it all sinks in. He swears that when her face scrunches up and tears form in her eyes that it is the most pain he has ever felt. ''Baby,'' he manages to get out, head spinning. He doesn't know what else he's supposed to say. He can't make this better with ice cream or a kiss on the forehead. This isn't something he can just slap a band aid over.

And this right here...this is exactly the reason why it took him to long to tell them.

''Piper, honey,'' Ruby's voice wobbles dangerously, on the verge of breaking. She takes one single step towards the young girl and then halts in her tracks. ''W-What are you doing back so early? You were supposed to wait for your dad to come pick you up.''

''One of the girls... She fell and broke her arm,'' Piper murmurs in a daze, still staring straight ahead at her father. He finds himself unable to move under her gaze. ''So...Miss. Daisy cancelled practice and Karen's mom drove me home. Daddy, are you going to die?'' She says it all in a rush, voice squeaking on the last word.

Nobody says a word.

She begins to tremble, standing there in the open doorway, still wearing her ballet outfit, fingers clenching the straps of her bag so tightly her knuckles have gone white. She always makes a big deal out of the fact that she's twelve now and she's not a baby anymore. Right now, she has never looked younger. ''Is it true?'' She asks softly.

Still, nobody says a damn thing.

Dean tries to remember how to swallow. It wasn't supposed to go down like this. Not in a room full of people. He was going to sit her down and everything was supposed to be calm. He was supposed to be calm for her. Nothing is calm right now. Ruby's crying and Piper's about to freaking explode and Sam's standing there like a giant bucket of guilt because he always looks so damn guilty when talking about the deal.

Joey, at last, stands. ''Piper - ''

''Is it _true_?'' She demands in a shrill scream.

Ruby jumps.

''Yes.'' It takes Dean a moment to realize that was his voice.

Tears slip down Piper's cheeks and her voice comes out strained and small when she speaks. ''Are you sick?''

Ruby chokes on a sob and has to look away, raking a hand through her hair. She sends Dean a look out of the corner of her eye that he swears says _do you see what you've done? This is your fault!_

''No, baby,'' he rasps. ''I'm not sick. It's nothing like that.''

''Then what is it like?'' She wails, dropping her bag and rushing towards him. ''Tell me!''

The kitchen door shuts and when Dean spares a glance over his shoulder, Sam's gone.

''Okay,'' he says, voice shaky (because right now it is anything but _okay_). ''Okay, Piper.'' He places his hands firmly on his daughter's shoulders and bends down so he's eye level with her. ''You need to listen to me,'' he pleads. ''And I know this might not make a lot of sense but you have to believe me when I say that this... It has to - ''

''It has to what?'' She cries out, shoving his hands away and stumbling away from him. Her eyes stare at him like she doesn't know him. Like she's looking right through him. ''It has to happen?'' She blubbers. ''You have to die?''

''Piper...'' He reaches out for her desperately without any idea of what he's doing. He's not quite sure if his plan is to hug her or attempt to prevent her from wailing on him, but whatever his plan is, it doesn't work.

The second he tries to grasp her arm, she wrenches free quite violently and shoves at his shoulder with a wild screech of, ''Get away from me!''

''Piper, wait!''

Piper shakes her head, lips wobbling, tears running down her cheeks. She spins on her heel to run away, heading straight for the front door. Ruby pushes past Dean to chase after her niece, her own eyes glimmering, and then all hell breaks loose. A swirling mass of energy forms in the doorway and both Piper and Ruby stop in their tracks. Before Piper even has a chance to scream out in shock and fear, the black cloud takes the shape of an achingly familiar person and the air in the room thins.

A single moment passes and then Piper manages to whisper out a meek sounding, ''Mom?''

.

_''She's so pretty.'' Tears make tracks down Beth's pale face, still glistening with sweat as she clutches the baby to her chest, somewhat awkwardly. She smiles down at the baby, shushing her gently when the bundle squirms. Ten minutes with a baby and already the least maternal person in the world is being lit up - illuminated - by motherhood. Seriously. That's not just the world's cheesiest metaphor. Dean has never seen Queen Bee Beth Daniels smile at anyone like she's smiling down at her daughter._

_Their daughter._

_Dean stands at the end of the bed, arms folded over his chest as he searches for the right emotion to feel, 'cause there sure are a lot of them surging through him right now. There is a part of him that just wants to scream. Demand to know what the hell Beth was thinking when she foolishly decided to keep her pregnancy a secret and went through nine months without ever seeking any medical attention. What the hell is wrong with her? Didn't she realize how dangerous that was?_

_Beth's a drinker, he knows she's a drinker. One of those naive teenagers who drinks to get drunk just to see if she can get away with it. Did she drink while she was pregnant? Smoke? What had she done? There's a part of him that is so filled with rage and frustration and hurt. But then the other part of him is looking down at that baby girl and he's so scared and so joyful and still stuck in the disbelief category. He's a father. There are no words to describe how that feels._

_He just wishes his mom were here._

_Soft fingers brush against the back of his neck, sending a tingle down his spine. He turns to look at Ruby. She's staring at him, face creased in worry. ''You okay?'' She asks softly._

_He somehow manages a half hearted shrug. ''I don't know,'' he answers honestly. ''I just...delivered my own kid.'' He shakes his head at how bizarre that statement sounds. He's not used to this yet. Not prepared. Not ready. ''I'm just waiting to wake up,'' he admits._

_She frowns at him for a brief second and then offers him one of those shy, half smiles that is all eyes and lips - that is so distinctly Ruby - and then she side steps him, hand grazing the small of his back as she glides over to her sister. Still looking frightened and a little ashen in the dim light of the room, Ruby crawls onto the bed next to her sister, breath catching noticeably when she eyes the baby._

_Dean almost smirks. Well, good. It's nice to know he isn't the only one who is utterly petrified by the mere presence of the infant._

_''Beth,'' Ruby murmurs, hand pressed to her sister's forehead. ''You're burning up. I really think we should call - ''_

_''Isn't she beautiful?'' Beth gushes, eyes stuck on the baby in her arms. ''Like an angel,'' she whispers. ''The most beautiful girl in the world.''_

_Ruby looks stricken. ''Yes, she's beautiful. But you have a fever, Beth.'' She touches her sister's forehead again and then cups Beth's cheek gently, brushing hair out of her eyes. ''And it's only getting worse. I need you to be okay.''_

_''What do you think we should name her?'' Beth asks with a bright, unconcerned smile._

_Ruby draws back, now looking as if she is seconds away from bursting into tears. ''Beth, please - ''_

_''You're holding her wrong,'' Dean can't help but interject, shaking himself out of his stupor and his self induced paralysis._

_Beth's big hazel eyes stare up at him. ''I-I am?'' Her teeth sink into her lower lip in concern. When the mattress dips under his weight, the baby blinks open her eyes and a gasp gets caught in his throat._

_''It's okay,'' he assures Beth, gently reaching out to help her. His eyes flick towards Ruby and then at the phone on the bedside table. She swallows hard and slides off the bed, snatching up the phone without Beth noticing. ''There you go,'' Dean murmurs, keeping his eyes on Beth as he adjusts the baby into a safer and more comfortable position in her mother's arms._

_''You don't...You don't think I hurt her, do you?'' She questions worriedly. ''By holding her wrong, I mean?''_

_''Oh, no.'' He smiles softly and brings a hand to her forehead, wincing slightly at the heat radiating from her skin. ''Babies are...'' He clears his throat. ''...They're tough.'' The lack of prenatal care might hurt her, but he doesn't say that._

_''Yeah...'' Her voice cracks and more tears roll down her cheeks as she runs one finger down the baby's soft cheek. ''...Yeah...'' She sniffles noisily. ''...So pretty...'' Blinking tearfully, she pushes a shaking hand through her hair and turns her head, just enough to catch sight of her sister dialing the phone. Instantly, the wonder and peace drains out of her eyes, replaced by rage and frustration. ''Ruby,'' she hisses, eyes glinting with fire. ''What are you doing?''_

_Ruby throws an impatient look over her shoulder. ''I'm calling Mom and Dad.''_

_''Don't you dare!'' Beth's voice raises, panicked and loud. She jolts forwards, upsetting the little girl in her arms, and Dean's arms shoot out to take the baby quickly, shushing her softly. Beth's wide, panicked eyes go to Dean, that same pleading look in her eyes that she used to give him when she needed him to buy her something. ''Stop her,'' she begs. ''Dean, you have to stop her right now!''_

_''He's not going to stop me,'' Ruby retorts hotly. ''He knows we have to - ''_

_''You don't have to do anything!'' Beth screams. ''Ruby, if you call Mom and Dad, I'll never forgive you.''_

_Ruby doesn't look impressed. ''I'll deal.''_

_''Ruby, no, please... You can't call them! You can't...'' Beth trails off, putting one hand over her chest, a slightly pained look darting over her face, gone within a second. She shakes it off, looking adamant._

_''Beth,'' Dean stands, still rocking the baby gently. ''Maybe - ''_

_''No!''_

_The baby lets out a wail._

_''You can't tell them!'' Beth's breathing speeds up and her voice comes out garbled, slurred with sobs. ''Please, Ruby, please don't tell them. They don't need to know.''_

_''They're going to find out eventually,'' Ruby points out logically. She makes the mistake of moving closer, putting one comforting hand on her sister's shoulder. ''You may have been able to hide a pregnancy, Beth, but even you can't hide a baby.''_

_And then Beth grabs onto her sister's arm, digs her fingernails into Ruby's skin until Ruby gasps in pain, and wrestles the phone from her hand. ''And I don't intend to,'' she shoots back. ''I'm not keeping her,'' she admits simply, regretfully. ''I can't.''_

_''What?'' His voice comes out strangled, getting caught in his throat. He lifts his eyes to Beth sharply, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from his baby. He knows he has no right to feel anger flow through him at that admission. It...probably would be the best choice. It's just that... He never thought he was capable of feeling this much for one person and maybe he isn't ready to let go of that just yet. ''But I thought you said - ''_

_''I know what I said.'' Beth pinches her lips together in that determined way of hers, keeping her eyes carefully off of her daughter. ''But I can't. I can't keep her. I just...'' She licks her cracked and dry lips. ''...Can't.''_

_Dean feels a flash of panic race through his chest, a sharp pang of longing. He looks down at the baby in his arms, who is amazingly calm. It is not often that he seriously thinks about giving it all up. The last time he even considered leaving the hunting lifestyle behind was when he was with Cheyenne. When he was with her, he used to dream about the life they could have had together. He had even come up with a plan, albeit a somewhat weak one. The minute he turned eighteen, he was going to take Sammy and they were going to run. And then once they were settled somewhere far away from their father, he was going to find Cheyenne and give her a ring because he had honestly loved that girl. His plan was to settle down in some calm and peaceful no name town in the middle of nowhere. A fucked up little family unit._

_But even then, those were just dreams. The entire time he was with Cheyenne, he knew that all their relationship was running on was fumes and borrowed time. But this little girl... She has the power to change it all. Cheyenne may have been a pipe dream, but he would give up everything for this girl in a flash. In a heartbeat. He's been a dad for less than an hour, but he already knows that he'd pretty much do anything for her. He guesses, with some bitterness, that is what a father is supposed to do._

_''Beth, listen to me,'' Ruby is saying forcefully, so forcefully that it jars Dean out of his infant induced trance and inner monologue. Blond hair falling in her face, Ruby digs one knee into the bed, eyes as lethal as knives as she stares Beth down. Dean doesn't think he has ever seen little Ruby Daniels look at anyone like that before. ''I cannot clean up your mess this time,'' she spits out. ''Do you get that? Is it getting through? Regardless of whether or not you give her up, people are going to find out. You need medical attention. She needs medical attention. We're just kids.'' Her voice starts to tremble. ''We're just kids, Beth. We can't fix you. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Please understand.''_

_Beth stares at Ruby like she doesn't even recognize her. Dean gets the feeling that this is the first time Ruby has ever stood up to her sister like that. For a second, Beth almost looks proud. But then she sneers, wraps her hand around Ruby's wrist and pulls. ''No, you listen to me. Both of you.'' She sends Dean one of those patented Beth Daniels demanding glares. This one actually comes close to startling him. ''Here's what's going to happen.'' She looks in between them to make sure they're listening to her. ''You,'' she swings a glance at Dean, ''are going to take the baby to the hospital and make sure she's okay. Tell them that you...you found her abandoned or something. I don't know, you're an expert at spinning tales. Come up with something. And you,'' she looks back at her sister. ''You are going to help me clean up and clean the sheets and we're not going to tell Mom and Dad a thing. And then it will be over. Got it? The baby will go to some happy family, I'll go back to being pre-pregnancy Beth, get back on the cheerleading team and go to college, Ruby, you'll become some sort of doctor or lawyer or whatever you want, Dean, you can go save the world or whatever the fuck it is that you hunters do...and none of us will ever speak of this...this...unfortunate incident again. Understood?''_

_Her voice is low, eyes narrowed angrily. She clearly thinks that this will be just another thing to sweep under the rug, possibly used for blackmail purposes later on in life. Just another thing she can erase and pretend never happened. Well, Dean ain't buying into her shit this time. She may be able to bully her sister into doing her dirty work for her, but Dean isn't her puppet anymore._

_''Ruby,'' he says calmly, eyes fixated on the baby still held in his arms. At least one person in the room is remotely calm. ''Can you give us a minute please?''_

_Ruby hesitates, letting out a shaky sigh and throwing her hands over her face, looking extremely distressed._

_He stands, moving towards her. ''Ruby,'' he lowers his voice. ''Hey, it's okay.'' He bends down to whisper in her ear. ''Just let me talk to her for five minutes? Five minutes and if she's still being a bitch, we're takin' her to the hospital, okay?''_

_She doesn't say a word, but she does cast one more pleading look at her sister. Finally, she nods, slipping out of the room._

_Dean turns back to Beth, swallowing thickly. Judging by the look on Beth's face, time is of the essence. Five minutes is all he has. She's sweating and pale, hands shaking, eyelids looking heavy. It could just be the simple matter of adrenaline wearing off, but he's not willing to take any chances. Not with this. He's giving himself exactly five minutes and five minutes only to convince her that she needs help. If her stubbornness prevails, he's going to pick her up and take her kicking and screaming to the hospital. He thinks he should be able to convince her, but he wonders if he's giving her too much credit. She always has been rather selfish. He's just hoping that she loves her daughter._

_''Beth.'' He speaks quietly, deciding that the gentle approach is best in this situation. He takes back his spot beside her on the bed and pushes the baby into her arms, all but forcing her to take the child. ''You need help.''_

_She swallows, but looks like she has a rough time doing so. ''I'm fine,'' she whispers. The tears beginning to roll down her cheeks once again tell him otherwise. ''I'll be fine,'' she adds. ''Women give birth every day.''_

_''We need to get you looked at,'' he presses._

_She shakes her head stubbornly, an honest to God pout on her lips. ''No.''_

_''Beth, look at me.'' He lifts her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. ''I know you.'' When she shakes her head and begins to pull away from him, he grabs her face with both hands. ''Yes, I do,'' he insists. ''I know you better than you think I do.''_

_She closes her eyes. ''D-Dean...''_

_''And I know you're scared, and I know you're tired and probably really fucking sore, but we have to take you in. We have to do what's right.''_

_She shakes her head again, weakly this time. ''Everyone...Everyone will know.''_

_''Beth - ''_

_''Everyone will know,'' she repeats, cheeks tinged red. ''I don't want them to know.''_

_When he notices that her words are starting to come out slurred and her eyes are getting dull, he speeds things up. ''Baby, this isn't a secret you can keep.''_

_She lets out a small sob and closes her eyes, teeth biting her lips._

_''Beth, look at her,'' he orders. It's damn hard not to raise his voice, frustration beginning to get the best of him. How is it possible for one person to be this stubborn and this cavalier when it comes to something like their life? (Pot. Kettle. Black.) ''Look at her. That's our kid, all right? That's our daughter. That's my daughter and whether you like it or not, I have to do what is best for her now. And part of what's best for her is making sure her mother fucking takes care of herself. You got me, baby?''_

_She doesn't answer, trembling fingers tracing the baby's face. ''She's...She's perfect, isn't she?''_

_He sucks in a breath. ''...She is...''_

_''Ten fingers. Ten toes.'' She laughs tiredly. ''My nose. I can...I can...already tell she's going to have your eyes...''_

_''Yeah,'' he murmurs. ''She's perfect. She's...gorgeous. She's all you,'' he whispers. ''Your nose, your lips, your skin. And I'll bet she'll have your hair and your laugh and God forbid, your attitude. And I'm sure she'll be so pretty as a little girl and so damn beautiful as a woman, but we need to make sure she gets there, all right? We're her parents. Our job now is to keep her safe and healthy. If there is one thing you're going to take away from this, can't you please take that?''_

_She is eerily silent._

_''Beth?'' When he still doesn't get an answer, he raises his eyes. ''...Beth?''_

.

''Oh my god.'' Dean stares straight ahead of him, unable to form a coherent string of thoughts, limbs feeling like jello. Her skin may be positively white, so white it's almost translucent, and her lips may be blue, but her eyes are exactly the same as they used to be. So full of life and fire and steely determination. That is perhaps the scariest thing about this mess. ''Beth... It's you...''

Beth's cracked lips twist into a gruesome sneer and she tilts her head to the side. ''Looks like.'' In the blink of an eye, she is standing right in front of him, one hand clamped around his neck, icy cold hand cutting off his air supply. It takes her roughly somewhere around five seconds to do the rest of the damage. She jerks her head towards Piper and sends the girl flying out the door. It slams shut behind her and locks. She throws her hand out towards her father and Joey goes sailing through the air, hitting the wall hard and slumping to the ground unconscious.

''Beth!'' Ruby snaps out of her stunned stupor, eyes flashing as Dean chokes and gasps for air, clawing at her arm. ''What are you doing?''

''Oh, relax, sister dear,'' Beth grinds out sarcastically. ''You won't have to clean up this mess.''

''Come on, Beth, this isn't you. You don't want to do this.''

Beth frowns. ''I don't?'' She tilts her head to the side and thinks about that long and hard. Too long. The edges of Dean's vision begin to go black and blurry. Eventually, she shrugs, curls her clammy, dead, twig like fingers tighter around Dean's neck and throws him across the room like he weighs nothing. He hits the wall and goes to the ground, vision blurred. Beth flickers. She goes in and out like the reception on an old black and white television set, and then she's right there in front of her sister and she's grinning like a mad woman. ''Then tell me,'' she whispers, ''what it is you think I want.''

Face to face with her dead sister, Ruby falters. Dean can see it. It's in the way her eyes cloud over. He tries to shake off the pain shooting up and down his body, but his body won't move.

''She's still in there, isn't she?'' Beth asks, voice so soft he can barely hear it. ''The girl you were before? That little weakling? That shy, quiet, unimportant _nobody_? She's still right here. I can see her.'' She takes a step towards Ruby. Ruby goes back. ''Let's see if we can't make her show her ugly mug, hmm?'' Her hand locks around Ruby's wrist and she sends her sister crashing into the coffee table, wood cracking and splintering and breaking under the force.

''Wow.'' Dean lets out a loud, cackling sort of laugh, pushing himself onto his knees. ''Still the same old bitchy little Bethy, huh?''

Beth turns to look at him sharply, hissing angrily through her teeth like some sort of wild animal.

He grins. ''You hated that name, didn't you? Bethy?''

She laughs, just as nasty as him. ''At least they didn't call me Little Miss Bell Jar.'' She cuts her eyes to Ruby. ''Right, Rubes?''

''They only called me that,'' Ruby retorts through gritted teeth, rolling onto her stomach. ''Because you told them to.''

''Nah, you know what?'' Deal hauls himself to his feet. ''There was another nickname that you hated even worse than Bethy. What was it again? It was something like...OH!'' He snaps his fingers in victory. ''I remember now.'' He plasters a smirk on his lips and doesn't let himself look at Ruby, no matter how much he wants to check on her. ''Whore.''

And just as he was hoping, Beth instantly shifts her attention and her unbridled rage from her sister back to him. Once more, she sends him to the ground, only this time it doesn't end there. Slowly, moving in that weirdly seductive Beth way of hers, hips swaying like they used to, she makes her way over to him, crouching down in front of him, long black nightgown pooling around her on the floor. Her fingers grasp his shirt and her freezing cold breath tickles his neck about as much as her dark hair as she leans in to whisper something in his ear. ''It takes one,'' she murmurs breathily, ''to know one, baby.''

She smells of blood and dirt and decaying flesh, all of the things that accompany death and his stomach turns over at the smell. He closes his eyes, doing his best not to gag. When he opens them again, she's gone. He groans, trying in vain to shake off the nasty pain reverberating throughout his body. That is really gonna ache later. Well, that's one thing he knows for sure. When you come face to face with your dead ex-girlfriend who is still seventeen and spry, it really hits you how old you're getting. But he has more pressing matters to attend to. ''Ruby! You good?''

On the ground, amidst the broken jagged pieces of wood that used to be the coffee table, she is struggling to her feet. ''Yeah,'' she says, the shaken tone of her voice betraying how really freaked out she is. ''I'm good.'' She doesn't look at him as she rushes over to her father's prone form.

Dean heaves himself to his feet. ''I'm fine too,'' he mutters bitingly. ''Thanks for asking.''

''Just go check on Piper.''

Anxious and preoccupied, all he can really think about is the safety of his daughter and brother, so he doesn't notice that during the commotion, his gun has fallen out of the waistband of his jeans. He also doesn't notice that it is now suspended in mid air, pointed right at him. There's a banging on the door and Sam and Piper are calling for him, so he doesn't hear the safety being clicked off. Some else, however, does. Later, he will be so pissed when he realizes that she didn't even try to warn him. She just _reacted._

Ruby's heels clatter noisily on the floor and she skids to a halt in front of him just as a shot rings out. Behind her, the gun falls to the floor. She doesn't have an extremely violently noticeable reaction to the gun shot other than a startled sounding gasp and a slight jump, but he figures it's from the noise. He jumps too. It's unexpected. He whirls around to see what the bullet hit, and then he rushes past her, snatching up the gun to empty it. ''Ruby, you okay?'' The unused, unfired bullets fall to the ground harmlessly. Ruby doesn't answer him. ''Ruby?'' He lifts his eyes to her just as she turns around. The first thing that he sees is her eyes and all of the pain burning brightly and vividly in them. Then he sees all of the blood. He lurches forwards just in time to catch her when she falls, sinking to the ground with her, a string of profanities leaving his lips.

Beth swirls into view above them, laughing like a maniac.

The words _fucking bitch_ come to mind, but Dean never gets the chance to tell her his newest opinion of her because the door bangs open loudly and when Beth whirls around, she gets a chest full of rock salt and disappears. For now. Coast clear, Sam lowers the gun. ''Was that who I think it was?''

Hands pressed to Ruby's stomach, blood seeping through his fingers, Dean nods. ''Yeah, that was Beth.''

* * *

><p><em>''Of all the ghosts, the ghosts of our old loves are the worst.''<br>_**- Arthur Conan Doyle**

* * *

><p><strong>end chapter four<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Architect, there you go. I shot Ruby just for you. <strong>

**Hands up, who guessed it was Beth? All of you? ...Yeah, I didn't really do a great job with the surprise part, did I? Ah, well. Win some, lose some. Oh, and one more thing: I'm going to be putting up pictures of Beth, Piper, and Joey Daniels up on my profile so be sure and check those out.**

**Up Next:**

_Dean patches Ruby up. Also, more flashbacks._


End file.
